How Meditation Led Me To True Love

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meditation true love
Meditation leads a yoga teacher to love without an agenda or judgment.

The way Francesco broke up with me was as simple as it was shocking. It was a Saturday afternoon in July and we'd just seen a movie at The Museum of Modern Art in New York City. Riding the subway back downtown, we sat side by side, him in an inexplicable and smoldering silence. Then he got up and walked out of the train. I never saw him again. Why Men Disappear

Dumbfounded, I was left to fill in the blanks myself. We'd only been dating for three months, seeing each other about once a week. Steady and sweet, he was the first guy in long while who seemed to enjoy being in a relationship rather than fighting it. He called me, took me out, complimented me. For more than a year, I'd dated men whom, I'd realize too late, were playing the field. Francesco's availability was refreshing—in fact, it was a relief.

 

Until that fateful Saturday. Nothing had gone wrong as far as I could tell. Had something bothered him about the movie? Had he met someone else? Was it me?

After a week, I swallowed my pride and texted him. Nothing. After a few more days, I called. Still nothing. Then, my insides churning, I emailed a plea for any kind of explanation, no strings attached. Dead silence. Disappearing: The Kindest Way To Break Up?

Francesco's behavior made no sense, and, a month later, I was still struggling to accept it. On a friend's suggestion, I went to a yoga center to check out a Tantric meditation class (which contrary to popular Western thought is not all about sex).

As a yoga teacher and yoga writer, I'd made many attempts to make meditation part of my practice, but nothing had stuck. I thought I could give it another try, but I had low expectations.