Exhausted looking for love


Joanna was simply burned out from dating. She felt like she had dated enough and she should have found "him" by now... so "Where was he?" She always thought. Well Joanna recycled her life habits the way commuters recycle their routes to work - same ol, same ol. So it is no wonder that she was getting the same unsatisfying results.



Let me show you a little bit closer: Joanna's daily routine typically consisted of going to work, grabbing drinks with friends at their neighborhood bar or going to the gym and closing out the night with a tabloid mag or some must-see TV. Her weekends usually included a little overtime at work, dinner and a movie with friends and another visit to the neighborhood bar. Perhaps a visit to see mom and dad on the other side of town too.


First I reprogrammed Joanna's dating attitude to help reignite her excitement for the possibility of falling in like and in love. I learned about her dating past and why her attitude was negative so that I could course-correct it. We turned her previous experiences into something more positive so that didn't feel defeated by them, but rather empowered.


Then I introduced Joanna to the Algebra of Dating - the idea that to get different results you have to change a variable in your equation. Jointly we put together a plan for Joanna to more or less go get more of a life so that she would instantly expand her dating marketplace. She joined a yoga class, adopted a dog and explored new bars. She also committed to going out at least 3 times a week.


I also helped Joanna build an online dating existence on two different sites and managed the process with her.


Joanna is now fruitfully dating. Her energy for it is re-engaged and she is now the one organizing girl's night out events with her friends!


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tristan Coopersmith

Marriage and Family Therapist

Tristan Coopersmith, M.A. MFTi

Location: Hermosa Beach, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MFTI
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