“We’re never in the mood at the same time.”

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High school sweethearts, and parents of two, Jay, 36 years old, wanted sex every day and Becca, 35 years old, was satisfied with once a week. I explained to them that there are several reasons why a couple may not be in the mood at the same time. It could be physical: too tired. It could be emotional: too stressed. It could also be just plain boredom: too predictable.

As a solution to resolve the mismatched sex drive, I asked Becca to tell Jay what would help her to get into a sexy mood more often. She confessed she had some resentment towards him expecting her to turn into a sexpot from mommy mode without any romance or foreplay. Jay promised to give Becca some time to unwind, let her take a bath and then give her a massage, focusing on the non sexual parts of her body first. Becca promised to be more responsive and sexual as she was when they were first married. The power of communication and compromise worked its magic once again.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ava Cadell

Counselor/Therapist

Live to Love ~Dr. Ava Cadell

Personal Website: http://www.AvaCadell.com

Founder of Lovelogy University: http://www.LoveologyUniversity.com

My blog: htto://www.DrAvaBlog.com

Location: West Hollywood, CA
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Ava Cadell:

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[Editor's note: In addition to being a YourTango Expert, Dr. Ava Cadell is the leading love and sex therapist to Hollywood's biggest stars. Earlier this year, she joined the cast of Bravo's hit show 'LA Shrinks,' which follows high-end relationship experts.] It may not be a popular opinion, but I believe porn can be used for therapeutic ... Read more

Loveology University offers CEUs

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Loveology University is proud to be a California Continuing Education Provider for the Board of Behavioral Sciences and the Board of Registered Nurses by affiliation with Dr. Ava Cadell. All of LU's courses offer credits for therapists and counselors who are members of the CA BBS and nurses who are members of the CA BRN that require annual continuing ... Read more

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Passion is at least 50 percent of a relationship, but as time passes, unfortunately, passion is the first thing that diminishes. Quite often, couples become friends, which is great, but where is the passion? It's gone! And the reason it's gone is because you don't continue to do the things you did when you were first dating. You take each other for ... Read more

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