That is RIDICULOUS ! No one is suggesting that a person put up with ABUSE by looking at "the positives" ! Having a positive attitude and LOVING yourself and your abuser means only to take responsibility that you have allowed this into your life, take the life lessons you need from it and then make positive changes everyday. That ones own energy affects the energy of those around us and that positive energy attracts positive energy...so eventually the negativity in your life will be NULIFIED because it cannot co-exist when living aligned with your source, which is LOVE. Either the abuse will stop or they will leave, or you will leave or they'll get hit by a bus ! Stuff like that...whoever wrote that book OBVIOUSLY has NOT grasped the concept !
I agree with Seligman and his learned optimism; I see it as valuable with my marriage and family therapy clients that believe, or come to believe that they can make a difference in their own lives. In my just released little book to help relationships, "A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage," couples can put into practice some inspiring behaviors that will help them to make a difference: www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com
So you're supposed to just walk around with your shoulders sagging,your head down,and have a frown on your face and the "poor old me" mentality and that is supposed to work better? Sorry,but you will NEVER get me to buy into that. I have personally found that since I have been more positive and kept my faith that things will get better and tried to do what I could to help others that my life has improved tremendously even though I am still single. But,I still have my strong faith that one day when the time is right I WILL find that someone who is meant for me and NOTHING or NOONE will take that faith away from me. :)
There's research that shows the optimism can be good for you, even when it is inaccurate. Optimistic people are healthier and more likely to keep trying. I am not a natural optimist, and I have found that being pessimistic can be a trap. I would highly recommend the book Learned Optimism by Seligman to anyone who is not at all optimistic.
On the other hand, I think what Ehrenreich is saying sounds like it makes sense. If you accept whatever comes your way, you don't do anything to change the world. Of course, it takes a hell of a lot of optimism to believe that you can change the world.
Perhaps it's a question of degree. Focusing on the blessings in your life can make you happier. Pretending that you have no problems will just make you miserable inside. So will believing that you deserve the bad things that happen to you.
Going back to Seligman on Learned Optimism, he argues that the most optimistic people do NOT blame themselves. Instead they believe that when good things happen to them, it's because they of them. When bad things happen, they blame something or someone else.



