Therese Brochard, an author and blogger who focuses on overcoming depression, recently submitted a piece to Huffington Post titled, 12 Ways To Recover From An Emotional Affair.
While Brochard's intention was to help happily married folks get over their crushes, we found the tips would work on just about any unrequited infatuation.
After all, we all know the cruel trick our psyche plays once we realize the object of our affection doesn't feel the same way: we just fall harder. So while we're huge proponents of following our heart, here's a crash course in outsmarting the romance novel in your head with our favorite five of Brochard's tips.
1.) SCHEDULE YOUR OBSESSING: While a true crush is the lifeblood of morning, noon and night, Brochard suggests you quiet the violins in your head and set aside a time to think about that special person. Like, say, during breakfast or while you walk around the block on your lunch break. Admittedly, we've never tried this. Sort of reminds us of attempting to avoid a blinking, beautiful bowl of chocolate candy when we'd sacrifice our first born for a single M&M. (The candy always wins.) Yet, Brochard suggests you have a dialogue with yourself that goes something like: "Thought, I appreciate your coming, but I've scheduled you for 7 this evening, at which time you can totally distract me if you want." Right on. You tell those thoughts who are boss!
2.) REPLACE YOUR CRUSH WITH SOMETHING: This one kills two birds with one stone. Distract yourself from the sick, delusional white wedding with Crush X in your head, and sign up for that kickboxing class you've been wanting to do for months. Brochard thinks this should be a "challenge" so the more draining the better. Time to train for that marathon or become fluent in Spanish. No slacking!
3.) ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE LONELY: While, yes, the person you're obsessing over may very well be Dreamy McDreamboat the sheer fact you've allowed the fantasy to absorb so much valuable brain power is a red LONELY flag flapping in the wind. As Brochard says, "It is the emptiness within you that you have to be willing to experience, not the one who could temporarily take it away."
4.) IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD: Lord Byron poems aside, the adrenaline rush of love, at it's very basic level, is nothing more than just a few brain synapses gone wild. Infatuation is the brain's own personal cocaine party. A few extra bumps of dopamine and norepinephrine and suddenly the entire world is a rose-colored long walk on the beach. The sooner you realize love is as powerful a drug as anything black market, the quicker you can take control of it.
5.) WRITE IT OUT: If you're too ashamed to admit to anyone you've lost it so hardcore for someone so utterly uninterested, try a nice, long journal session. Writing out one's emotions has been scientifically proven to help speed up the healing process.