After checking out ConjugalHarmony.com, a mock online dating site feigning to connect prisoners with those on the outside, we gave the convict-dating phenomenon some closer inspection. The result? There are clearly a bunch of reaons not to date a man behind bars (enforced long-distance relationship, depression at his non-voter status in certain states... him being a CONVICT), but there are also some potential perks. Check them out.
1. If/when he gets out, he'll be an expert at doing laundry.
2. He'll likely have buff prison muscles.
3. He'll never leave his socks on the floor or the toothpaste uncapped.
4. The once-a-month conjugal visit sex will be amazing, given all that pent-up sexual energy.
5. You'll never be called his "ball and chain."
6. You only have to shave your legs once a month.
7. If you buy him baked goods from the grocery story and claim they're yours, he'll never know the difference.
8. You get to sleep in the middle of the bed.
9. The "I've been thinking of leaving my toothbrush and a change of underwear at your place" conversation never has to happen.
10. The remote's all yours. Read: Why Guys Control the Remote (& Other Stereotypes)
11. You can live out your Wentworth Miller Prison Break fantasy.
12. If you're into exhibitionism you can pretend the guards are listening in on you during your conjugal visits.
13. No worries about there being another woman. Another man? Now that's a different story.
14. You can perfect your love letter-writing skills.
15. Bringing him home to meet the family is not an option.
16. You'll always have one over him in an argument—"I may have cheated on you, but at least I'm not a convicted felon!"