Why We (I) Love Anna Faris

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anna faris
Check the facts, men love Anna Faris.

Wikipedia calls Anna Faris "an American actress and singer known for her broadly comic roles," and they also have the all-time least flattering photo ever taken of her.

Neither the horrible photo of Faris nor the terse description of her magnificence do her justice. Before you say, "Hey big surprise, Whiteboy McIrishy thinks some blonde-ass blonde is hot," let me explain myself.

Yes, Anna Faris is hot and anyone who says differently should check her facts. One: Anna Faris is pretty in the face and hair region. Two: Anna Faris has a shapely body*. Add One and Two together and you get Three: hot. Those are facts, check them.

But Anna Faris is more than just 'hot,' she's also sexy… I kid (but she is). She's funny. Maybe her run in the Scary Movie franchise didn't tickle your funny bone and maybe her Ryan Reynolds double feature, Waiting and Just Friends, left too much on the table and perhaps the script for My Super Ex-Girlfriend wasn't hitting on all cylinders, but The House Bunny was funny (Rotten Tomatoes says "Anna Faris is game" and those guys are some of the cynical-est cynics on the scene. Check the facts, they hate everything) and the commercial for Observe And Report looks like she could steal that show too**. Check the facts, check out this trailer:

 Next, Anna Faris is easy on the eyes. I kid (although she is easy on the eyes, fact); she seems easy-going. While it's not possible to tell how she is in real life, her turn on Entourage showed a less goofy but still likeable starlet. I would like to think that she has much in common with that character. Most men, except masochists, appreciate a woman who isn't going to harsh their mellow. Look it up in a book, it's a fact.

And finally Anna Faris is that special blend of slinky and self-absorbed, kidding. She (or the character she generally plays) is equal parts needy and self-sufficient. Guys like feeling needed especially if it's something that doesn't take much time and makes us look like heroes (examples: programming the DVR or confronting a preteen for being inconsiderate). Check the facts, guys appreciate being appreciated (I'd guess that women do too but I'm hesitant to make that assumption). But Anna Faris seems to have the wherewithal to handle things on her own when a dude isn't available. While being needed is great, sometimes knowing that the Earth won't spin off into the sun when you take a nap is even better. Google it, it's fact.

How does this help you? Duh. Guys might dig you a little bit more if you're little more like Anna Faris: salacious, funny, attractive, breezy, adorable, vulnerable / resilient and gorgeous. That can't be that hard, right? Oh and if you can swing being a ray of sunshine in the deepest, darkest night, that would probably be great too.

*Note: She is a bit on the thin side, but who's perfect?
**Note: It's not a sequel to Paul Blart: Mall Cop, just a second movie in the same twelve months about a suburban security guard.

Photos: Splash

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