I have gone against what Leslie says she wants and accepted a job out-of-town. I do not look at this situation the same way as two years ago when we were really troubled. I accepted this position without discussing it with her as our finances are still in a shambles and we have not recovered from my unemployment a year ago when I did everything she asked me to with reference to job searching. I am tired of being broke, tired of not being unable to afford gifts for my children while her daughter lacks for nothing, tired of not being able to indulge myself in simple pleasures simply because I have no money. I do love her very much. I try daily to make her feel loved and desired and cherished. Sometimes I succeed, most times I dont seem to be able to. However, she is unable (or unwilling) to release the anger/resentment from past wrongs I have committed. She believes that IF I loved her I would cease to hurt her. Nice thought but impossible for mere mortals. I do not carry the wrongs she commits against me for very long. She says I snap and have an attitude much of the time. Maybe so because I try and ignore all the crap she and her daughter do (or dont do) daily that anyone would be annoyed with but it gets to me and I end up grumbling to myself. But who could blame me for all the time I keep trying to please her and make her life bettter and all I do is make her unhappy. I cannot live like this any longer. It appears we cannot be together so I must deliver the news that we must part ways. yay.
Edit: I guess I have failed Leslie in two major areas, I have lied to her repeatedly (stupid of me really as it was the first thing she told me she needed) and I have not listened to her (whatever that means). She has been easy in some regards to make happy. She does tell me what she wants and needs.