Why Nice Guys Don't Finish Last — They Get Girlfriends
Yes, women want a man who will treat them kindly.
Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs | Canva There are a lot of rules from so-called pickup artists on how to get a girl. Most of them involve insulting the girl, being a bad boy or just compromising your values. For every guy who's ever wanted a girl and does not want to act like a jerk, this is the way to do it. But first, remember that nice guys don't finish last — they get the girl.
Why nice guys don't finish last, they get girlfriends:
1. A woman doesn't know what she wants until a man she trusts shows her
Have you ever seen a woman’s “list”? You know, the things she wants in a man? The curious thing is, that list is hardly ever what she really wants. Because what she wants can’t be reduced to an 8.5x11" scrap of paper. What she wants is a man who is stronger than her, who she can trust, and who she wants to surrender to.
2. Women want to be seduced
Romantic novels sell far more than any other genre of books. And you know who buys them? Women. Women who want to experience the breathtaking euphoria of seduction. If you follow the rest of these steps, she’ll share that with you instead of her nighttime reading material.
3. Your character is more important than appearing cool
The kind of woman you fall in love with and have a family with is more interested in your character than your alpha ranking among your friends. This means, as a good guy, you can spend less time trying to impress her and more time being yourself and getting to know her. And as a result, have a deep relationship of connection.
4. Looks matter, but only a little
Most of the time, a very beautiful woman marries down in the looks category. If women needed their mates to be as pretty as they are, they'd be lesbians. This means if you're average-looking, in relatively good shape, and take care of yourself, you have all the good looks you need to attract the woman you want and get her to be your girlfriend.
5. She wants to trust her partner
A woman's most protected possession is not in her pants. It's her heart. As a result, she is looking for the guy she can surrender to, the guy who she can give herself fully. She wants to trust you because that makes her feel safe, protected, and like she has a true companion in the world.
6. She wants a man who is stronger than her
Women who want a relationship want the man to be emotionally stronger than her. Because she knows she's emotional. She knows she's kind of crazy sometimes. And if you are strong enough to handle her crazy without crumbling, without accusation, without shutting down, she knows you are able to handle all of her. And she'll gladly give you all of her.
7. Capture her imagination and she'll give you anything you want
Women are much more imaginative than men. They grow up loving fairy tales and (at times, secretly) hope that one may happen for her. If you can paint a vision of the future that is alluring, she will jump right on board.
8. Women can fall in love with their friends
All of the nonsense from some so-called "experts" aside, women can fall in love with their friends. Because, shockingly, women really like their friends. And with the right approach, she can see you in a whole new light. I once dated a lovely girl for months who told me that it would "never happen" because "we're just friends." You just have to know how to excite her arousal.
9. Emotional connection is at the heart of intimacy for women
Without the emotional connection, even the hottest intimacy is like doing it with a mannequin: everything is anatomically perfect, but there's no life in it. Be warm and gentle with her emotionally and she will want you to be ferocious with her in the bedroom.
10. Good guys get the best girls
Take a look at the most beautiful, classy, and faithful women in the world. Are they with some dirtbag player or pickup artist? No way. Women who have spent their lives waiting for the right guy aren’t duped by some stupid pickup line or some guy’s phony high status.
11. Confidence and conviction are aphrodisiacs
Never mind rock-solid abs, fancy cars, and loads of money. Those things work great for a one-night stand. But even more powerful is the man who, with or without those things, stands on his own two feet solidly and confidently. Who is sure of what he wants, his right to have it, and his willingness to go for it.
12. Compliments work magic, but only if you do them right
A lot of guys give compliments all wrong. They use them to make themselves feel more comfortable. They say boring or inane things like "you're really hot" or even worse "nice chest." The key to using compliments is that they are meant to make HER feel more comfortable, not you. Try this: Notice an accessory she is wearing (a pendant, bracelet, even shoes) or something she is reading and compliment her on that. Like this: "That's a great book you're reading. What made you pick it up?" Or, "Those shoes look awesome on your feet. Where did you get them?"
13. Rejection is your greatest ally if you know what to do next
The truth is a man does not really have a relationship with a woman until she rejects him and he shows he is unfazed by it. Remember, women want a man who is stronger than them emotionally. The only way to know if you are is to "reject" you and see how you get on. If a guy crumbles, shrinks back, or cowers in fear, he is lost. But, if you take her rejection in stride, showing that you are neither offended nor put off by it, she gains great trust in your confidence.
Michael Griswold is a dating coach and writer focusing on love and relationships. He has a Ph.D. in relationship and breakup psychology.