3 Lightening Fast Ways To Detach After A Breakup
It may not feel easy, but you can move on more quickly if you follow these tips.
DimaBerlin / Shutterstock You were in a long-term relationship, and now you're unexpectedly dealing with a breakup. How do you cope? I mean, being in a relationship is great, but saying goodbye can feel like a knife to the heart.
It's something nobody prepared you for, and no guidebook can truly help you overcome a broken heart. So, once again, how do you cope? How do you get over an ex? How do you move on?
Dating coach Sabrina Zohar discusses the three ways you can detach from your ex after a messy breakup.
3 Ways To Detach After A Breakup
1. Be aware of your thoughts and what's actually happening.
"Where are you feeling this in your body," asks Zohar. Where is your mind at and do you find yourself ruminating?
It's important to understand where your thoughts are and what they're protecting you from. When we obsess over our ex why do we do it?
Are we unconsciously protecting ourselves? If that's true, what are we protecting ourselves from? Zohar adds, "What are we avoiding looking at within ourselves?"
2. Catch yourself in these moments.
Since you've recognized that you're ruminating. the next step is to help you feel more connected to your surroundings. Zohar explains, "The ruminating and the spiraling is going to keep you an anxious brain."
However, when we connect with our surroundings we are turning on our prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is in charge of decision-making and common sense.
Meaning, by doing this, you can bring yourself back to the present moment and break free from any thoughts that might be holding you back.
3. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
When we go through a breakup, we're told not to mope around too much. Your friends might say, "Go out and have fun," to attempt to cheer you up.
But it's okay to feel sad and angry. Zohar says, "There's no need to shame and blame yourself just for having an emotion."
Let yourself feel those emotions and give yourself time to process them. Then, try to distract yourself with other stuff. If you feel upset go exercise or paint. Vent in your diary or listen to sad songs.
"Breakups are painful, no matter what brings them about and whether or not you want to break up," writes the Jed Foundation.
And going through a breakup can lead to a drop in self-esteem. Moreover, people who experience breakups can develop mental health issues such as depression. The point is to break out of the loop.
So, if you're currently going through a break, be gentle with yourself. Accept your feelings and validate them. Even if you were the one who initiated the breakup, it doesn't change the grief you're likely experiencing.
Acknowledge those tough emotions, but don't let them overwhelm you. Distract yourself with hobbits or spend time with your friends.
And if necessary, consider seeking professional counseling to help you cope with your heartbreak.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.