4 True Relationship Clichés That'll Change You How You Date
There might be some truths to these old clichés about love.
Dean Drobot | Canva It's very easy to dismiss clichés when you hear them, especially when they refer to dating and relationships. Too many singles have heard the same placating sayings over and over again. But while we are inclined to ignore them, don't try to reinvent the wheel! There is truth to be found in these tried-and-true clichés.
Here are 4 true relationship clichés that will change how you date:
1. When you stop looking, you'll find love
This is one that we've all heard a million times — and it's one that I used to particularly hate. Telling someone who wants to be in love to stop looking for love is like telling an unemployed person not to look for a job. Jobs (and relationships) occasionally fall into our laps when we least expect them, but it helps to be proactive in your search for both.
The truth behind this cliché is about your mindset. If you are anxious and (gasp!) desperately looking for love, it tends to elude you. You can proactively look for love by going to singles events, asking for set-ups, trying online dating, or using a matchmaker, all while maintaining a positive, relaxed attitude about your search. That's because anxiety and desperation are not attractive qualities. Would you be attracted to someone anxiously approaching their search for love? Live your life from a place of enjoying the journey, not focusing on the destination.
2. Being intimate on the first date won't lead to a relationship
I know, I know. We all have that one friend who slept with a guy on the first date and now they are happily married. It happens. But the plain truth is it is not likely to happen. There are people who end up in arranged marriages with their soulmates. There are those who marry their high school sweethearts and stay happily married for their entire lives. But I think we can generally agree that arranged marriages and high school romances are not the practical way to find lasting love for everyone. The same goes for being intimate with someone you barely know. If you're looking for something serious, trust that if he or she is the right person for you, they will take the time to get to know you first.
3. Everything happens for a reason
Immediately following a breakup or a promising new relationship that fizzles out before it even begins, this statement can feel like ice-cold comfort in January. However, the truth is, at the very least, every experience we have has lessons to teach us if we are willing to look. We might learn the hard way that some of our behaviors have poor consequences. Or that we should listen to our gut instincts when a feeling inside is telling us that something isn't right. We might be able to finally recognize a destructive pattern of behavior that's been sabotaging our love life. The truth is, no matter how painful an experience might be, it might have been just the wake-up call that you needed to make a different decision in the future.
4. There's someone for everyone, every pot has a lid, etc
This might be the ultimate dating cliché. But it is proven to be true over and over again. There is nothing that disqualifies you from being lovable. We are all good enough to find love. And there is an infinite variety of people out there. You might have 100 people to choose from, or you might only encounter that one person who is right for you. Your love might not look the way you expect him to, and he might not come at the time or in the way you planned. But if you remain open to love, positively engaged in finding it, and willing to enjoy the journey, you will find that loving relationship you seek.
Francesca Hogi is a coach, writer, speaker, podcaster, and consultant who helps people find true love everywhere in their lives. She has been seen on the Today Show, CBS, The Huffington Post, Bustle, and more.