I Married A Man Who Proposed Within 20 Minutes Of Meeting Me
I knew I loved him on the first date.
Alfa Photostudio | Shutterstock, Dean Drobot, Afta Putta | Canva I got married for the first time when I was very young. We eventually ended up getting divorced, and I shifted my career from social work to matchmaking. A few years later, once my matchmaking company was up and running, I knew I was ready to get married again. Having made this decision, my love goggles were on. I was super friendly everywhere I went, kept my eyes open for opportunities, and was confident with who I was and what I was looking for.
A week after I made this important decision, I stopped by a local coffee shop with a friend after seeing a band play. Pretty immediately I spotted a guy across the room that I thought was really attractive. He was wearing a dapper 1940s get-up, so I yelled over to him, "Hey 1940s dude! What are you eating?" Now, I know not everyone would be comfortable yelling across the room like that, but that's my personality: I am extremely friendly and outgoing. Whatever your style is you can achieve this same effect, even if it is just with a long smile in their direction, or a wave hello.
After I got his attention, it seemed like he was super excited that I had reached out to him. He asked me right away to sit down with him, and of course, I did. At this point in the story, I should also mention that I do have a skill for choosing nice guys who are capable of healthy relationships. It is really important to master the skill of being able to spot a nice guy. You do not want to be blinded by a player. No matter how you approach a player (someone not interested in commitment), you won't be able to turn their marriage light on in 20 minutes.
So, I'm sitting with this super cute guy, and he tells me about how he just moved to New York from Louisiana. He recently got his PhD in herpetology and was a specialist in studying the evolution of snakes and their DNA. Nerdy I know, but that's what I loved. I was so impressed by him: he was young, smart, and extremely down to earth. Within the next two minutes, I found out that he was from the Midwest and had the same life views as me, as well as a similar style.
We hit it off so well that twenty minutes later, believe it or not, he asked me to marry him. I would have said yes right then and there, except I had another guy traveling to meet me from Canada, so I told him that I'd have to get back to him next week after the Canada guy came to visit — yes, this is really how it happened! I'll get to the exciting conclusion in a minute, but let's take a minute to figure out why this quick proposal happened in the first place.
I was super confident and walked into that coffee shop smiling, happy, and feeling comfortable in my own skin. He later told me he took notice of this right when I walked into the room. I was positive about the prospects of meeting new people and finding love. I knew that I was ready to get married again. I had my love goggles on, was open to all different kinds of people, and saw the potential in the people I was meeting. I knew how to spot a good, kind, and relationship-oriented guy.
This last part, spotting a good guy, is really important. Good guys are often terrified of being rejected, so you might have to approach them first. It’s the players who aren't afraid to approach a woman. The reason my coffee shop guy did not approach me first was because he was sick of being rejected by New York women. He had been shot down so many times since moving to NYC that he had shut himself off for several months and hadn’t reached out to anyone new. Because I was so friendly, outgoing, and humorous about how I reached out to him, he was excited and flattered.
Needless to say, the date with the Canadian guy did not go well because I was thinking about my future husband. So when that guy from the coffee shop called me on Sunday (I had only met him that Friday), I agreed to meet up with him. We went on two dates that week and had such an amazing connection that we decided to get married after only knowing each other for a week. We sent out email invitations to our family and friends and headed to Vegas to get married by Elvis less than two months later.
Now, eleven years and two children later, we've had the time of our lives. I promise you that this kind of story can happen to you too. It all comes down to being confident when you walk into a room and choosing the person you engage with wisely. Be intriguing, and curious, and find your own style. The rest will fall into place in time. Whether you find your love in 20 minutes or maybe a little longer, you will indeed find your partner if you remain open to the possibilities, aren't judgmental, see the good in others, and are awesome to be around.
Lisa Clampitt is the Founder & President of The Matchmaking Institute and CEO of Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking.