The Tiny Trick To Being Happy When You're Feeling Cruddy
Resistance is not the culprit.
Sheena Diolle | Canva It’s been an intense week. Not physically. I didn’t have to evacuate my house like so many others did because of the fires in California nor did I run into other challenging events in my life.
I feel like I have been purging and purging old programs, feelings, and beliefs for a long time now, and this week was no different. Well, it was. It felt more intense and more unbearable at times and made me wonder what on earth I had to write about today.
Self-love? Awakening? Following your heart? Mindfulness? I can’t find any motivation in my usual blog categories today. They normally fill me with inspiration and flow, so how will I put to paper something I feel inspired by today?
It’s all blah! Shall I write about feeling blah today? Not that I’m going to create a new category in my blog post, but let’s see how ‘blah’ and feeling unmotivated fits into what I normally feel so inspired by.
Here's the tiny trick to being happy when you're feeling cruddy
1. When you feel unmotivated, can you love that?
Honestly, no. Right now, there’s nothing about it that I want to wrap my love around. Truthfully, I just want it to go away, so I can get into my flow again. How can I love this feeling of blah, awaken to it, follow my heart, or be mindful of it?
"Blah" is such a funny word, isn’t it? Let’s look at what the online dictionary says about Blah:
- Refers to something boring or without meaningful content
- Depression
- Dull or unexciting
- Without energy or enthusiasm
Oh, yes, all of it. Ha, no wonder I’m not motivated to write anything today, never mind anything chirpy or inspiring.
But, self-love and awakening are not all about being chirpy, is it? It’s about being willing and able to be present with whatever arises without resisting it or trying to get rid of it. But, that’s exactly what I want to do: resist it and get rid of it!
2. Being mindful of resistance
When our uncomfortable feelings are surrounded by a layer of resistance, this is really no different from the feelings themselves. Resistance is a feeling too, and in this case, I am willing to make space for my resistance to feeling the blah.
It’s like taking one step back and making space for ‘that too’. In this case, it's resistance.
Sometimes (or shall I say, most of the time), resistance feels like the ‘bad guy’ and rarely gets to be felt or heard in the same way that all the other guys do. I understand the resistance to feeling blah when the flow is a much more familiar and preferred state.
Tero Vesalainen via Shutterstock
However, resistance is a big part of your experience when you start moving through layers and layers of old beliefs, feelings, and conditioning. When I do — when I make space for the resistance — I feel a sweet relief inside. The relief is that I don’t have to be any different than who I am at this very moment. I don’t have to love what I want to get rid of when I can’t. I don’t have to love what I don’t love. That feels like true self-love to me! I can love myself even when I feel resistance to it.
Wow, I did it! I’m back in the flow right now, dancing with resistance and willingness to be with what is.
When you resist your resistance and try to be what you are not in the moment, it can easily fall under the category of "spiritual bypassing". Knowing myself well, spiritual bypassing is not my thing, even though it may tempt me at times.
3. Being mindful with blah
Feeling OK with resisting that I don’t want to feel blah at this moment helps me relax. Believe it or not, it makes a little more space to feel the feeling of blah now, and believe it or not, I even feel a little inspired now. The closed door is opening and I notice a shift in my energy. I notice a little smile in my heart.
fizkes via Shutterstock
Suddenly, I have more energy to write about what I don’t want to feel, and the flow is coming back. The flow is always in what is. The flow is never outside of what is. Remember this when you can’t feel the flow!
I am amazed. I ended up writing this little article, even though I didn’t want to nor did I feel I had anything to share. The feeling of blah has subsided to a little flow and a little inspiration. I feel pretty good right now and I love myself a little more!
4. Make space for what you resist
I hope this article permits you to make space for what you resist, especially the resistance itself. We are so used to being hard on ourselves, pushing through what doesn’t feel right, and compromising or ignoring our moment-to-moment experiences.
Resistance is not the culprit. It’s the belief that resistance is the culprit, and in case you need it, you have my full permission to feel any resistance to feeling anything you don’t want.
Pernilla Lillarose is a self-love mystic mentor and certified Hakomi practitioner.