He Promised To Quit Drinking, But I Want To Leave Anyway


Sometimes, wanting to change just isn't enough.

When you're in a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is seriously hard. It doesn't matter how long you've been together. When you experience the highs, everything seems picture perfect. He's loving, It isn't until you're face with the lows that the heaviness of your situation really hits you.

Whether you're dealing with his violent mood swings, constant lack of communication or low, there's no question that it's emotionally draining and exhausting. Staying seems co-dependent and leaving (especially when he needs you the most) just seems cruel.

What people don't realize is just how rough and all-consuming addiction is. We blame ourselves when sh*t hits the fan. We start thinking that if we give our partner more time (or more space), he'll get better on his own.

But even if he promises that he'll change, wanting to leave doesn't mean that you're a bad person. It just makes you human.

Divorce coach Micki McWade is definitely onto something when she says that feeling like you can't take it anymore is not only normal, but completely understandable.

You spent so many years wishing that he'd stop. Of course you feel like you just can't do it anymore. When there's a history of asking and nothing coming out of it, it makes sense that you end up losing all hope and just want to move on with your life.

At 0:47, Micki drops a major truth bomb. She says "It's a hard thing for the person to accept that they've given up the substance but it's not enough. Unfortunately, the relationship died a long time before that."

If he isn't serious about your relationship, it'll end up being destroyed by his addiction. That's why it's important that he leans on you when he needs to, but can also stand on his own. Asking for help isn't weak, it shows he's serious about making things work. The only way he'll overcome his demons is by confronting them head on.

The ball is in his court.