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Everything is made up of energy, which is why you need to protect yours.
By Patricia Bonnard — Written on Feb 08, 2023
People are always sharing and exchanging energy. You are too.
Some of this give and take is positive, but not all of it. So, make sure you know how to protect yourself from other people's toxic energy.
According to quantum physics and vibrational healing, everything is made of energy. This includes all living beings and nonliving things as well as every aspect of you: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
This means that underlying every health complaint or condition, you'll find an energy disturbance, or what is also referred to as an imbalance.
Maintaining a clear, balanced, and unincumbered flow of energy is the basis of good health and well-being.
How do you know if energy is good or bad?
When talking about energy, a question that frequently comes up is "how do I know when other people's energy is good or bad?"
The simple answer is it depends. This is because the quality and impact of energy are relative. How it makes you feel and its influence on how you function is key.
Basically, if someone or something's energy creates a sustained imbalance within you or your energy bodies, it's definitely not in your highest and best interest. In other words, it's toxic and you want to get rid of it with some form of energy clearing.
In addition, the effects of energy on your system can vary in extent, intensity, and duration. Some imbalances will be easy to cope with or adjust to, allowing you to swiftly regain your equilibrium. But, some won't.
However, if your communications and interactions with others are mostly cordial and sincere, it's likely that the energy you exchange is benign or even beneficial.
When what seems to be good is actually bad
Unfortunately, even positive intentions and cordiality can lead to energetic imbalances (e.g., obsessive infatuation, overprotective parenting). Excessive or unwelcome good deeds, despite arising out of love, can lead to negative consequences for both the donor and the recipient.
Consider helicopter parenting. Most definitely, it involves an inherent two-way parent-child energetic imprint that is, at times, imbalanced and potentially toxic.
Furthermore, not all energetic sharing and its impact are readily discernable. Energy is subtle, and imbalances can persist undetected and deepen until they ultimately manifest in discomfort and unease.
Tracing back to the original source is not always straightforward.
Fortunately, basic good energetic hygiene can help you mitigate these adverse effects. Use these three simple practices to help you protect yourself from other people's toxic energy.
Here are three ways to stay clear of other people's toxic energy
1. Set and maintain your boundaries
One of the best ways to stay clear of other people's toxic energy is to know, set, and maintain your boundaries.
Boundaries are simply "... an invisible line that defines acceptable behavior ..." (a favorite description from the Wellness Center, University of Illinois, Chicago). They shape the scope and content of your engagements and create the foundation from which your interactions form, grow, and transform.
Whether fully aware of them or not, you have many different boundaries related to every aspect of your life, e.g., physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social, professional, and personal.
To stay clear of boundary disturbances and the toxicity they entail, get to know your boundaries. Be cognizant of how rigid they are in what circumstances, and how they change in different contexts with different people.
Your clarity and conviction will limit energetic muddling and associated imbalances.
Never say 'yes' when you actually mean 'no'
Being able to say no is related to honoring and appropriately maintaining your boundaries. In other words, it's being authentic. But, did you know that it can also protect you from other's toxic energy?
By definition, if you always say yes, even when you really want to say no, you violate your boundaries and most likely those of others. In these instances, you're not being honest with yourself and others about your intentions, wants, and needs. And, in so doing, you generate toxic energy within yourself because your choice is not in your highest interest.
In addition, you take on unwelcome energy each time that person innocently transgresses your true limits. To illustrate, two common examples of this type of situation are when you agree to take on more work than you can handle, or you routinely acquiesce to whatever your partner wants to do over the weekend.
In the long run, the energetic imbalance perpetuates or repeatedly reemerges until you rectify your behavior and/or miscommunication.
Did you know that your insincere actions can also give rise to toxic energy and imbalance in others? This is because your true motives (the real reasons you feel obliged to say yes) are disguised, perhaps unconsciously or unintentionally. Insincerity is toxic to others.
2. Surround yourself with strong positivity
How you show up in the world and view the world has a great deal of influence over how you'll experience it. A negative or downtrodden outlook, attitude, or posture begets more negativity and is a lightning rod for toxic energy.
In contrast, a positive outlook garners positivity and wards off negativity.
To remedy this, surround yourself and imbue your aura with strong positive energy. Simply intend to draw toward you and surround yourself with a beautiful positive resonance. Maybe you can imagine this with your mind's eye and add embellishments such as color, luster, or sensation. Make your sheld in any way that feels supportive and right for you.
Create your sheld daily and recharge it any time you like or when you feel an encroachment.
Feel free to change its look and feel any time it suits you and your situation.
Positivity doesn't come naturally to everyone and certainly, no one is positive all the time. Fortunately, anyone can cultivate positivity with very little effort.
To do so, start by setting an authentic positive intention every day. Make sure that it truly resonates with you.
Then, select a mantra, i.e., a simple phrase, to symbolize your intention. Throughout the day periodically conjure it in your mind or recite it out loud to remind you of your intention and refresh your positive outlook.
To amp up your optimistic outlook, consider developing a habit of reframing. This means simply rephrasing an opinion or belief.
In doing this, you want your more positive and optimistic variations in thought to be believable. The fact that they could be true, gives them more power.
Here are three ways to reframe:
- Acknowledge what is good about the situation and/or your behavior even when either is not perfect or exactly as you desired or expected. Can you just for this moment find that silver lining and give it some consideration?
- Consider the opposite of your thoughts, especially a more positive variation. Is there plausible evidence that this variation is true? If so, can you adopt that outlook just for now?
- Starting with the phrase "what if ..." invent one or more desirable scenarios or possible outcomes and consider that these might be just as true. For example, you hesitate to go to your friend's party because you don't have a date. But what if the very fact you're unattached makes you attractive and available to another one of your friend's guests?
3. More than energy blocking — energy healing
Good energetic hygiene will help ward off or release your and other people's toxic energy. Learn how to clear and balance your energy or regularly visit an energy healer (e.g., Reiki or qigong practitioner).
Don't leave yourself open to other's toxic energy or to whatever energy doesn't serve you. Try one or more of these approaches.
Prevention and maintenance of balanced energy are vital to good health and well-being.
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Patricia Bonnard, Ph.D., ACC is a certified International Coaching Federation (ICF) leadership coach, certified Martha Beck life coach, and Master/Instructor Energy Healer.