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Your best friend might just be your soulmate.
By Dan O'Reilly — Last updated on Dec 08, 2022
The idea of a “soulmate” is usually reserved for a particularly strong romantic relationship in which both partners are deeply, romantically in love.
People in romantic relationships aren’t the only people who can be described as soulmates, however.
By definition, a soulmate is "a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament or "a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs."
As a result, there are many different types of soulmates.
According to relationship coach Dina Strada, "There are many other types of soulmates. Ones who come in solely for the purpose of teaching us something, some to break apart our life and redirect us to somewhere different, and others who pass us for the briefest of moments, yet tug on our hearts as if we’ve known them a lifetime."
This means that soulmates aren't just romantic connections. In fact, your best friend can be your soulmate, otherwise known as a platonic soulmate.
What is a platonic soulmate?
A platonic soulmate is, essentially, the same as a soulmate, but without the romantic connection. A platonic soulmate is a soul connection that extends beyond a friendship.
Think of a best friend that just "gets" you and always seems to know what’s bothering you. That person could be a platonic soulmate.
“Platonic soulmates love each other but do not share any sexual intimacy," spiritual life coach Keya Murthy explains. On the other hand, "Romantic soulmates are in love with each other and also share sexual intimacy.”
Love is not restricted to romantic partners. We all love our family and most of us would say that we love our friends, although that love is different from the romantic idea of love.
“You can be platonically in love," Murthy adds. "When you are platonically in love, it is not something you consciously choose to engage in, it simply is and you cannot explain or justify it with rationality and logic.”
Platonic soulmate relationships can take on a few different forms based on the relationship dynamic, but this connection is just as real and important as romantic ones.
Platonic soulmates get to share the mental and emotional connection just like romantic soulmates do, but without the complication of physical attraction. Soulmates are just people who seem to be almost perfectly suited to one another, not necessarily in a romantic way.
15 Signs You've Found Your Platonic Soulmate
1. You're effortlessly comfortable with them.
Whether it's an old friend from high school or someone you’ve only known for a few months, you've always felt right at home with them. You never struggle to think of things to talk about and are just as comfortable sitting together enjoying each other's company.
2. The friendship never really dies out.
Friends fight and grow distant, and it's natural for some friendships to end.
But platonic soulmates never really stop being friends. They’ll think of each other, even when they’re apart. Platonic soulmates stay in each other’s thoughts through thick and thin, whether they know it or not.
Once you find your platonic soulmate, you’re both in it for the long haul.
3. You’re totally in sync.
Whenever you’re spending time together, you’re constantly in each other’s heads. You can't really explain it with any sort of logic, but your brain waves just line up.
Maybe you’re picking up on extremely subtle cues that no one else quite seems to catch, but one way or another, it’s like you’ve developed your own, totally instinctual and proprietary, language.
4. Friendship just comes easily.
Lots of relationships require lots of effort and need to be maintained, including a friendship with a platonic soulmate.
The difference is that it never feels like an obligation. You’ll crave putting in that effort, and the rewards of maintaining that relationship pay out massively because of how much you enjoy each other. The maintenance itself will be virtually painless.
With that being said, all relationships still require effort to maintain and failing to do so can still have consequences, no matter how “meant for each other” you are.
As relationship coach Keith Dent says, “A platonic relationship can have the same emotional effects if it isn't cultivated, so it requires the same type of attention. No one person wants to feel that the platonic relationship is one-sided or taken for granted.”
5. You accept each other in your entirety.
No matter how close you are or how much you gel with someone, you’re still two different people and there are going to be aspects of your friend that you don’t like. This doesn't mean that you aren’t soulmates.
A sign that someone is your platonic soulmate is that you acknowledge that there are things that bother you about them, but that you also fully accept them for who they are.
Obviously, this goes the other way, too. Your platonic soulmate will certainly find things to dislike about you, but fully and with all of their heart accept them.
6. You always support each other.
Without really thinking or consciously intending to, you will be one another’s cheerleader and shoulder to cry on.
If you have a bad day, and your friend knows it and knows just how to react to best help you, that’s a pretty good sign they could be your platonic soulmate.
7. You feel empty when they aren't with you.
Perhaps you may not realize it, but whenever you two are apart, you feel incomplete. Whether you're apart for a few hours, days, or even a week or two, it seems as though there's a hole in your life, and the only way to fill it is to be back with your platonic soulmate.
You're sure to keep in contact with each other through texting or video-calling, and once you're back together, it's as if your relationship hasn't changed one bit.
Simply put, your life just doesn't feel right when they're gone.
8. Silence is never awkward.
There are some friendships or relationships where an awkward silence can put a damper on the entire mood. But with your platonic soulmate, you could sit together in silence for hours and it will never feel uncomfortable.
Even when there's no sound or talking, you might still feel a strong connection to each other. You probably already know what one another is thinking, anyway.
Because you're so comfortable with one another, you're perfectly fine just relaxing and simply being physically present.
9. You feel free to be your true self.
If you're able to be your absolute true self, quirks and all, around this person, you've found your platonic soulmate. There are plenty of friendships or connections you make where you hide a tiny piece of yourself, but a platonic soulmate will never judge you for who you are.
Nothing you say or do is embarrassing, and your platonic soulmate would never ask you to change yourself. They accept you fully and will always want you to be your natural self around them.
10. You help each other grow into better people.
All healthy relationships should include two people who want to help the other grow and evolve. And that's exactly what you have with a platonic soulmate.
Your lives are certainly not the same and, because of that, you're able to teach each other new things and expand your collective horizons. You push one another to continually evolve and are a positive force in the lives of one another.
All those challenges you might face together are all so you become more resilient, and all the times you tried something new because of your platonic soulmate, it was so you could develop further.
11. You share the same hobbies and interests.
Most friends have connections with people who have similar interests, but a platonic soulmate takes it one step further. The same interests could include a favorite TV show, place to dine out, or perhaps just the same opinion on a specific topic.
No matter what those hobbies are, though they may not be exactly the same, they complement one another. And you're each able to support each other in your individual endeavors.
12. They came into your life at just the right time.
When you met each other, it may have felt like a coincidence. Perhaps you had your own platonic version of a "meet cute," or after a particularly difficult time in your life.
But what you might not realize is that your platonic soulmate appeared when you needed them most. And now, a life without them is impossible to imagine.
Chalk it up to fate or the universe helping you find each other, but your platonic soulmate came at just the right time.
13. People ask why you two aren't dating.
Whether your platonic soulmate is the opposite sex or same sex, the people around you have noticed just how close your bond is and, as such, have asked on more than one occasion if your relationship is romantic.
While you do share a deep connection, it's not romantic in nature. In fact, you've probably told your loved ones multiple times that you're not dating.
But it does show that your connection is incredibly rare and intense.
14. You have the same sense of humor.
Weird, quirky, or flat-out ludicrous, your type of humor just seems to mesh. You laugh at each other's jokes and sarcasm, and even if they don't make sense, you find yourself just understanding the humor.
You never have to explain your humor or the references you make, and your platonic soulmate may even know the end of the joke before you can get there. It's just another way your connection extends beyond a simple friendship.
15. Your family is their family, and vice versa.
Your lives, essentially, blend into one another because of your close connection. That means that you fit right in with their family, and they fit right in with yours. And it's effortless.
Your platonic soulmate's parents and siblings feel like your own, and they most likely feel the same way about your family.
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Dan O'Reilly is a writer, editor and former contributor to YourTango. He covers entertainment and news, politics, and social justice topics.