I'd Rather Be Alone Than Compromise My High Standards

By Mitzi J Hernandez

Sometimes being single can get very lonely, even for those of us who are perfectly happy living without a partner. And especially when we’re single, most of us obsess over the possibility of falling in love with someone else.

Just because I have high standards doesn’t mean that I’m going to turn down every guy who approaches me, though.

I’m not actively looking for a man, but if I met someone with whom I really connected, then I would be open to pursuing a relationship and seeing where it goes.

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I truly believe that romantic bonds are beautiful and know that loving someone could bring me so much happiness. But I’m extremely selective about the men I spend my time with, because I always trust my gut.

Instead of settling for any warm body, I want to be with someone with whom I have a real connection. I’m technically single, but I still date to keep my options open.

I’ve had first dates that turned into seconds and thirds, and I’ve had a few first dates that never turned into anything more. I’ve met attractive, interesting men who treated me well and I had fun with them, but I’m still single.

If I’ve met wonderful men, how come I’m still single? Well, it turns out that there are plenty of good men, but not all of them are good for me. I’ve always been upfront and honest about my wants and needs.

Therefore, I want to make sure that the man I’m dating knows my standards and requirements for my relationships.

If a guy is OK with my standards, then our relationship is usually smooth sailing. But if he says that I’m asking for too much or making ridiculous demands, then I’ll politely wish him the best and walk away.

I’d rather be alone than compromise my values. I know who I am and how much I have to offer, so I’m not going to lower the bar just so a potential partner can reach it.

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When you compromise, you just lower your standards and your value. Compromising your standards never ends well, because adjusting your lifestyle, personality, and values to meet someone else’s ideal can easily turn you into someone you’re not.

The second you compromise your standards, you lose your power and yourself. You give up on finding someone who truly suits you. You give up on your own happiness. And you lose your sense of self-worth.

My standards define my relationships, so I won’t settle just so I can say that I’m coupled up. I don’t have any problem being alone, so I’m willing to wait for a happy, meaningful relationship one day.

The only way I will get all that I desire out of my relationships is if I remain true to myself and keep my standards high.

The one thing I’ve learned over my adult years is — that doesn’t settle for anything less than something you truly want. I know I am not the only one who feels this way and I know that there are wonderful men out there who are just waiting to find the right person, too.

Likewise, I don’t believe that my standards are “too high” or unrealistic. I know that one day, a man will come along and he will meet and even exceed my standards. But, until then, I will just enjoy being happy alone.

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Mitzi J Hernandez is a freelance writer whose work has been published in El Sol de México, Thought Catalog, YourTango, Unwritten, El Heraldo de Chihuahua, El Sol de Zacatecas, and more. For more of her work, follow her on Twitter.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.