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He hasn't forgiven his mother for what she did.
By Kurtis Condra — Written on Jun 25, 2022
Relationships with parents can be difficult.
While most claim that they want what's best for their children, they end up falling short when it actually comes to providing that.
One man on Reddit feels the same way but is now conflicted because of the decision he is making before his big wedding day.
He kicked his sister out of the wedding when she planned to bring their mother as her plus one.
The individual took to the subreddit "r/AmITheA--hole" (AITA) to ask about his predicament, wondering if he was wrong.
This subreddit is where you can vent about something that has been bothering you for some time.
You post your question and the non-violent situation you are involved in. Once a decision has been made the community decides if "You're the A--hole" (YTA), "Not the A--hole" (NTA), or if "Everyone Sucks Here" (ESH) in the situation.
The post begins with the individual saying he's marrying his fiancé, Kenzie, this fall and that she asked his sister to be a bridesmaid and how they've really bonded.
The poster then goes into detail about how he hasn't spoken to his mother since he was sixteen but she does try to reach out to him.
"When I was 13 I came home early from school to find another man in our house. My mom then proceeded to lie about who the dude was and told me not to say anything to my father," he says in his post.
Since he was closer to his father, he told him about the incident and his mother and father proceeded to get a divorce.
He still hasn't forgiven her for what she did.
His relationship with his sister was also very poor.
When he was 15 his mother broke down because he wanted to stay with his father.
Since his sister had a stronger relationship with their mother and her boyfriend, however, this caused a rift between the two siblings.
His mother tried to contact him but he refused to speak to her, which angered his sister more.
A year prior she invited him to her wedding and they both caught up.
"I’m glad I went tho because we got some things healed," he wrote. "We started getting closer again and now my sister is involved in our lives," but admits it was his fiancé who made him go to her wedding.
Thanks to Kenzie his relationship with his sister is stronger, but now it may be in tatters because of what she was planning to do.
He learned through his sister's husband that she planned to bring their mother as her plus one.
He asked his fiancé if she knew, which she didn't, but told him that he "should go easy on my sister because she just wants my mom there and my mom is pressuring her. But I flipped. Called my sister and she said I needed to get over what happened."
His mother was sorry for what she did but was devastated to learn she would not be invited any longer. His sister thought it would be a "fun surprise" but instead she has now been kicked out of the wedding too.
His fiancé is upset that one of her bridesmaids is now gone and believes he should give his sister a chance but he says he can't fully trust his sister anymore.
"After I learned that for years she was feeding my mom info about my life when I specifically said not to," he explained. "So this was her second time doing shady things."
A majority of Redditors agreed the man is NTA.
Everyone has agreed that the original poster is NTA because it is solely his decision, adding that his fiancé should have his back and respect him enough to have a no-contact relationship with his mother.
Many of the commenters talked about similar situations that they've been in, or that they have an estranged relationship with their parents as well.
Having a strained relationship with parents is common, but hopefully one day, the original poster can talk with his mother about what happened years ago and they can move on.
Kurtis Condra is a writer for YourTango, based in San Francisco, California. His expertise includes pop-culture deep dives, human interest stories, and news. When not writing for YourTango, he focuses on his poetry. You can follow his poetic journey on Instagram.