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She's being kind of harsh.
By Isaac Serna-Diez — Written on May 01, 2022
A 30-year-old woman and her 27-year-old fiance have a wedding coming up, which would normally be exciting and cause for celebration, only they have a big problem regarding one of the guests the husband wants at the ceremony — his twin brother.
His twin brother has struggled with a heavy drug addiction in the past which has gotten him in trouble with the law, not to mention his family.
Although her fiance tells her that his brother gone through rehabilitation and has since changed his ways, she remains adamant about his exclusion from their wedding.
Now she doesn’t know if she’s wrong for refusing to allow her fiance's twin at the wedding.
To get a third opinion on the situation that is completely unbiased, morally gray, and based on personal experiences that are completely unrelated, she goes to the subreddit “r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) to either get called an “a--hole” (YTA) or “not the a--hole” (NTA).
“I obviously don't want a drug addict invited at my wedding,” she writes, “But my fiance insists not only to invite him but to make him his groomsman too. He says that he went to rehab and he's now ‘clean’, but I seriously doubt that, I know people like him, they never change.”
The beginning of this story is seeping with loathing and resentment. Generalizations and stereotypes towards a group of people who are less fortunate — blaming drug addiction on the user and not the environment that surrounds them.
She insists that the drug addiction had gotten him into trouble before, but never elaborates on what exactly that trouble is or how bad it was.
She refers to her fiance’s twin brother as “that drug addict” and “dopehead."
She also referred to his mom as a “nutcase” when he decided to bring them over for dinner without telling her, hoping to change her mind.
Once his brother starts crying and wishing that he could support his brother on his big day, she continues to refuse.
Once his mother berates her for being heartless, cruel, and hung up on “stupid mistakes” from the past, she told her to “stay in lane.”
“I told them to drop the act, these ‘stupid mistakes’ literally landed him in jail and I'm not gonna allow a former offender at my wedding under any circumstances,” she explained.
She accuses his mom of enabling his brother’s addiction, and never backs down, even after they leave their house and it’s just her and her husband arguing.
This is when she calls his family a bunch of nutcases and threatens not to walk down the aisle if his twin brother shows up.
Nearly everyone who read the post and commented was on the side of the fiance and his family.
“Why would anyone marry someone who is so incredibly judgmental and cruel to their family? YTA,” read the top comment.
Another person who shared their experience wrote “YTA, I am a drug addict/alcoholic and have been clean longer than you have been alive. People do change.”
The thread was closed by moderators because everyone was hurling insults at the woman who posted it, but the overwhelming majority believed that she was in the wrong for doing and saying the things she did.
Everyone called for the husband to call the wedding off, but since people are allowed to change, hopefully, she sees the error of her ways.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.