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She claimed these tests are the best way to figure out if a guy is worth your time.
By Jonathan Alfano
Last updated on Jan 05, 2024
When it comes to dating, there are certain ways to suss out whether or not the person you're on a date with is a good match for you. Most of us try to ask the right questions, compare values and take note of how our date treats service staff.
Dating and confidence coach Gabby Padron, however, shared the “tests” she gives prospective men to see if they can treat her right.
The dating coach explained three first-date 'tests' women can use to see if a man can adequately 'provide' and 'protect.'
1. Chivalry test
“Let’s just stop this conversation and the back-and-forth, the 50/50,” she said in the video. “First date, he needs to be paying 100 percent. And if he’s not, then, like, goodbye.”
According to a 2019 survey conducted by dating website Elite Singles, 63% of men and 46% of women agreed that in a heterosexual relationship, men are responsible for picking up the tab on the first date. And divorce lawyer Justin Lee has agreed, but not in the name of chivalry — in fact, he believes men should always pay just in case someone is testing them as Padron suggested in her video.
While it's certainly chivalrous for a man to offer to pay, relationship psychologist Zoe Coetzee told Elite Singles that "gender norms have evolved, and equality has become the standard to aspire to in work, social, political and also dating spheres."
"These expectations and norms can change from person to person, making it a topic that a couple should negotiate when it comes up," Coetzee said.
2. Protection test
While explaining this one, Padron made an example of a recent date who did not pass the test. She explained that after going out for drinks in downtown Miami with a man, they both called for Ubers to get home. When his Uber arrived first, he offered to stay and wait for her Uber to arrive before leaving.
To test him, she told him he should go ahead, really wanting him to turn down her offer and stay with her anyway. When he instead accepted her offer and left in his Uber, that immediately raised a red flag for her.
“It is 4 a.m. in Miami, Florida, where no good is to come,” she said in the video. “Everything is shut down and I’m standing by myself...immediately no, immediately no. If you don’t care about my safety and making sure that I get into my Uber safely, you’re done, you’re done for.”
She then said that men should also text their date after they get home to ensure they made it home safely, something she also said her date didn't do, meaning he failed both parts of the “protection test.”
3. Provider test
The third and final test she mentioned in the video is meant to show her how much a man is willing to give her.
“When we’re out, if you have like a jacket on or some kind of overshirt, I will always, without a doubt, say that I’m cold, because I want to see if you will give me the shirt off your back,” she said in the video. “If you don’t, you’re dead to me."
'Testing' a date doesn't always give an accurate outlook on their character.
While some people in the comments agreed with Padron's process and commended her for being so diligent, others weren’t as receptive toward her "tests" and bashed her for not clearly communicating with her date.
As one person commented, "Grown women don't play games," a sentiment that clinical psychologist Gerry Heisler, Ph.D., explained in an article for Psychology Today as "destructive." According to Heisler, "guessing games" can easily lead to disappointment, especially because not everyone values the same thing. So while a man may do the same thing on two women's 'tests,' one woman may be happy with the outcome while another may see it as a failure.
Instead, people should be transparent about what they're looking for in a potential partner and relationship.
Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics.