Say Less, Model More: How To Be A Better Parent

Parenting Styles: Say Less, Model More: How to Be a Better Parent
Family, Self

4. Decide If Your Behavior Causes Anxiety
Many adults have so much invested in making sure they don't do what their parents did that they become anxious when things don't work out. My client Megan suffers anxiety attacks when she is late. Her mother was always late, even while preaching that one must never be late. As a child, Megan interpreted her mother's lateness as meaning she wasn't good enough to be picked up on time. Now, being late is for her the worst trait a person can have. Even when circumstances make it impossible for her to be on time, her world crumbles. Together, Megan and I worked hard to establish her priorities not based on being the opposite of her mother. Though punctuality is still important to her, she is now more relaxed and understands that her history of always being on time speaks to her commitment

Where did your parents model a different message from the one they were telling you? How did you cope? How can you shift from a place of resistance to a place of learning that it's important to model what we say?

5. Be Intentional
In my many interactions with diverse people, I have noticed that intentional parents have well-adjusted children. When parents take the time to find out who they are and model their priorities, their children have an easier time finding their path in life. Parents who follow their own truth, living purposeful lives, give their children the freedom and respect to choose who they want to be. If you are kind and polite, you can correct your children and expect them to be like you. If the word "thank you" rarely passes your lips, then surrender to having rude children.

The way you model life to your children will determine the kind of life they have. Your marriage will be a model for their marriage. How you treat your partner, your colleagues, you dog will most likely be the way your children relate to others. You don't want your children struggling to sort out who they are because of you and the model they saw in you.

The best way to parent is to be true to yourself and your values. To know your values, you have to sort out who you are as an adult. Bless your parents for the lessons they preached or modeled. Accept those lessons — and be intentional.

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Monica MagnettiProfessional Certified Life and Business Coach, Brand Consultant and proud YourTango Expert. Monica has designed free products for you so that you can lead an intentional life as both a parent and a professional. Don’t underestimate the power of clarity. Download Monica’s free MP3, Being in the Present: Achieve More Clarity, and read her free ebook, Ignite Your Fire, Brand Your Essence: A Collection of Fiery Wisdom on Business and Life.