What Do You Do When The Honeymoon Is Over?


When the magic is over, real love begins.

I'm currently sitting on the couch across from boyfriend, not wearing any makeup, hair thrown on top of my head and in full transparency, not wearing any pants.  Mr. Wonderful over there is enthralled with the Lakers game on TV and trying quite intently to get something out of his teeth.  It's pretty hot, let me tell you. 

When we first started dating, after meeting on an online dating site like WeLoveDates, I would spend hours getting ready for a simple coffee date.  Now that I think about it, I would spend longer curling my hair than I would with him later that day.  When we'd hang out at his house after work, I was on my best behavior.  I wanted his roommate to like me and his dog to fall in love with me.  When we'd wake up in the morning, I'd quickly sneak into the bathroom to shaphazardly lap some concealer on my under eye circles and some mascara on my lashes.  When I'd crawl back under the covers and he'd ask if I had any makeup on, I'd bat said eyelashes and murmur a demure "No." Later on, he'd tell me I wasn't fooling anyone. 

Those days were all about fun! Trying exotic new restaurants, making out at stoplights, neglecting work to sit on g-chat all day and flirt. I couldn't get enough of him, and his overly romantic gestures let me know that he felt the same way about me.  When we weren't together I was checking my phone in hopes that he had called or texted, and I was always looking forward to the next time we could be together again, even if it had been ten minutes. I was constantly asking my friends for dating advice, simply because I was so wrapped up in him! Oh, the honeymoon stage-so exciting, sexy and most of all, shiny and new.

It's easy-and dangerous-to spend too much time looking back on the beginning of your relationship and comparing it to the one you have now.  The honeymoon stage is simply that-a stage.  It's not meant to last forever, and by placing it on a pedastal, you're taking away from the beauty of a relationship that is firmly planted in reality.  A relationship that is mature and growing and fits the both of you, perfectly. 

These days, it's not always all about fun, but what in the real world is?  When you join your life together with someone else's, it means that you've acknowledged that every day isn't going to be a scene out of a romantic comedy.  Sometimes we bicker about who should unload the dishwasher, or what his mother really meant by that snarky comment she said in passing.  But it also means that he understands me, and accepts the real me, even sitting on the couch like a bum with no bra on.  There is freedom and security in a relationship that isn't shiny and new anymore, but comfortable, worn in and hey, maybe even a little dull from time to time. Dare I say though, it's even sexy?  There. I said it. In my opinion, there is nothing hotter than a man who still gives me butterflies, while going to town on his teeth. 

The end of the honeymoon stage isn't an end at all, in reality.  It's the beginning.