Photo: TikTok
Many disagree with her methods.
By NyRee Ausler — Written on Mar 14, 2023
Parents bring kids into the world with all types of hopes and dreams of who they will grow up to be. When they don’t adhere to the plans we have laid out in our minds for them, kids can cause a lot of stress.
One woman was at her wits’ end regarding her teenage son and posted a video of her controversial way of disciplining her son for ‘sagging’ his pants on her TikTok account.
The frustrated mom made her son wear a sign on the side of a busy street.
She started by pointing the camera at the annoyed boy who had a bright green sign covering his body from his chest to his knees. The sign read, “My mom feeds, clothes, [and] takes good care of me. But I am not respectful or grateful for all she does for me.”
On her part, the frustrated mom had her own sign that hinted at her frustration with speaking to her son about the issue and reiterated that she did not approve of the way he wore his pants. Though she didn’t show the other side clearly, it seemed to tie his style of dress to being an ‘inmate.’
The sign also alleged that the boy had taken property that belonged to others and reasoned that he was standing on the corner because it would prevent him from going to jail in the future.
She went on to narrate the video saying that he was defiant and disrespectful, though she had been kind to him. The boy mumbled something under his breathe and smiled sarcastically into the camera.
The comments on the video had been turned off, but not before the woman apparently received some negative feedback about the method of discipline she had chosen for her child.
The parenting expert weighed in with advice on how public humiliation impacts children.
In a stitch by another TikToker named Marcela Collier, a Podcaster who addresses parent-child relationships, she said that the mother was errant in her belief that public humiliation would have a positive outcome on her son’s behavior.
She even offered that instead of having the intended impact of stopping the teen’s disappointing behavior, the act of standing on the busy corner with a sign would serve to destroy any trust that existed between the parent and teen.
"Public humiliation is the fastest track to lose all kinds of trust with your teen," she explains.
Collier went on to say that when a teen is embarrassed in the way the young man was, he or she will no longer come to their parents with anything and instead will start to hide important information.
The responding woman did empathize with the emotions of the mother, saying she believed the woman felt “unseen” and “unheard.” However, she made it clear that she still did not agree with her actions, no matter how she was feeling.
Collier ventured even further by insinuating that perhaps the boy’s mom was transferring her childhood traumas onto her own offspring. She explained that we develop false beliefs during adolescence and when our children misbehave, it confirms they are true in our minds.
As a final word of advice, she offered parents who might be experiencing the same a word of advice. She suggested working on themselves first in order to find healthy and productive ways of addressing their child’s behavior.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.