Photo: TikTok
The mom-and-daughter duo shared an emotional conversation before a transitional moment for them both.
By Alexandra Blogier — Written on May 12, 2023
A mother and her 4-year-old daughter shared an emotional moment before bedtime when the young girl told her mom she was ready to change her nighttime routine.
“It’s the last time we get milkies,” the daughter said, using a kid-friendly term for nursing. She sat on her mother’s lap as her mom asked, “You’re not going to get anymore?”
“No, because you don’t get milkies. Big girls don’t get milkies,” the daughter stated, announcing that she was ready to stop nursing.
After explaining that she was ‘done with milkies,’ the 4-year-old consoled her crying mom.
The mother, who posts on TikTok under the username rx0rcist, captioned the post “4 years, 3 months, 20 days. Babies don’t keep.”
She states in her TikTok bio that she’s an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, which means she gives guidance, education, and referrals to nursing parents. As noted by the Lactation Network, IBCLCs “train for 2-5+ years, and must complete 90 hours of lactation-specific education and 300-1,000 hands-on clinical hours.”
The mom’s role as an IBCLC means that she’s a trained lactation professional, in addition to being a nursing parent.
“Are you ready for that?” The mom asked, to which her daughter answered, “Yup. I’m ready for no milkies because I don’t get milkies anymore.”
The World Health Organization recommends that nursing parents “initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of birth” and that babies should “be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life… From the age of 6 months, children should begin eating safe and adequate complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for up to two years of age and beyond.”
Her mom started to cry when her daughter said she was done nursing, leading the 4-year-old to console her mom.
“Why are you crying?” She asked her mom. “Because I’m sad about it,” her mom answered. The young girl leaned in to give her mom a hug.
“I love you,” she told her mom. “I love you too,” her mom answered tearfully.
“Don’t get me wrong… my body is so ready to be done because it makes me uncomfortable. But the thought of you not getting milkies anymore just makes me so sad.” The mom explained. “But I’m so proud of you for deciding when you’re gonna be done. That’s what I wanted this whole time, and I’m ready, and you know my body is ready, it’s just mentally I’m just… It’s a big step, it’s a big step for us, you know.”
“It’s okay, this is still our house,” her daughter replied. “Remember I cried when I got my band-aid off, now you’re crying.”
“Just [because] you’re so big,” the mom said. “I love you so much. I’m so proud of us.”
“I know that you don’t get milkies anymore,” her daughter stated. “I’ll be fully grown and now I won’t get milkies. I know you don’t want milkies.”
“Okay,” the mom said, holding her hands up for a high-five. “Bedtime.”
The comments were mostly supportive of the mom and her daughter’s nursing journey. One person commended the mom, saying, “You were honest and real without it being too much. It’s so important to talk about our bodies and emotions like this.”
The mom responded, “I’m glad I can model healthy emotion and regulation to her. She’s so empathetic as a result.” She further explained in the comments that she is “a first-generation gentle parent trying to break the cycle of generational trauma.”
She described the moment she shared with her daughter as “literally the best and worst day of my life.”
The conversation the mom and daughter shared shows that there’s value in parents letting their children see their inner world. Having and showing big emotions aren’t inherently bad; it’s the way that those feelings are navigated after they’re expressed that makes a difference.
The mom shared her emotions with her daughter without expecting the young girl to manage those emotions for her. She also respected and celebrated the boundary her daughter set, while recognizing that it was a challenging transition for them both.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. As a former postpartum doula, she covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.