Photo: Vulp / Shutterstock
Use your words. You will be glad you did.
By Mitzi Bockmann — Written on Mar 18, 2023
These love languages can be very confusing. I know that everyone is talking about them everywhere but sometimes it’s hard to understand how they work.
The premise is this: Each of us has a way of being, a language, that makes us feel loved. The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, gift-giving, acts of service and words of affirmation. These seem pretty clear, don’t they?
Well ... not really. There's a lot more to it!
For now, we'll delve into the last of those five — powerful things to say to a woman whose love language are words of affirmation.
How the "words of affirmation" love language works for women
It’s not just about telling her you love her (which is something that you should do regularly no matter what her love language). It's about taking it one step further.
If you can use your words to regularly tell your woman how she makes you feel, you will be well on your way down the path to making your woman feel loved.
And a woman who feels love is a happy woman (and someone who might want to be intimate with you — just saying).
Here are 20 powerful things to say to a woman whose love language is words of affirmation
1. I love you
This one is pretty obvious and something that I hope you are already doing every day.
2. You look beautiful today
A woman wants to be seen and acknowledged. And I am guessing that, while you always think that she is beautiful, you might not always verbalize it because you have said it a million times before or because you worry she might be self-conscious if you say it too much. Nope. Do it, and do it regularly!
3. I am so proud of you
Everyone wants to be admired for the things that they do. And while they like it when their friends and family do, it’s when the partner says they are proud that a woman feels loved.
4. I so appreciate everything that you do for me
So, I am guessing that your woman does a lot of stuff for you, much of which she has been doing for you for so long that you have started taking it for granted. Well, don’t. Tell her you appreciate it and make her feel loved.
5. What can I do for you?
Again, I am guessing that your woman does a lot for you and I am guessing that you would like to do a lot for her in return but aren’t really sure what she might want. Ask her. And if she says nothing, ask her again. Most importantly, if she tells you what she wants you to do, do it. Dropping the ball will render null and void your request.
6. I know you don’t like doing that so let me do it
We all have things that we don’t like to do. I hate cleaning out the coffee maker. I know that, when my partner tells me to put it down and he does it himself, he is definitely telling me he loves me.
7. Go take some time for yourself — you deserve it
The key part of this phrase is "you deserve it." Not only are you giving your woman the gift of time but so are you recognizing all the hard work that she does and rewarding her for it.
8. Your butt looks great in those jeans
Who doesn’t want to be told they look good in a pair of jeans? Literally no one.
9. Thank you for being such a great girlfriend/wife/mother
I know that you might not tell your partner how great they are because you assume that they know they are. Even if they do know they are, tell them. Tell them that you see it and you feel it and that you love them for it.
10. I am so lucky I found you
In this crazy world, finding love can be very hard. Online dating, busy schedules, and lack of personal interactions have all made the old-fashioned way of finding love, IRL, impossible. When we do find love, we often feel like we have found a needle in the haystack. Let her know that she is your needle.
11. You choose what we are going to do today
Ok, for some women, this might be a tough one. They either don’t know what they want to do or aren’t used to sticking up for what they want to do. Ask them. Encourage them to speak up. Even if they don’t, they will be grateful that you asked them and feel loved.
12. Of course, I would rather spend time with you than watch football
Even if this isn’t necessarily true (I know some truly great men who love their wives madly who choose football over their wives every Sunday and Monday for half the year), tell your woman that you feel that way and score many points. She will probably even let you watch the game if you say that.
13. Let’s go fool around
I know that you want your woman to want you, sexually. And often we do but we aren’t always so good at initiating. So, initiate. If you do so, she will know you want her and she will also feel closer to you because that is what sex does for every woman.
14. It’s OK if you don’t want to fool around
Conversely, sometimes we just don’t want to fool around but we do for our men. Let your woman off the hook and she will truly appreciate it.
15. I love it when you walk around naked
I know this might seem odd but the truth is that you most likely would love to see your woman walk around naked. When she does, you will probably gaze at her lovingly (and lustfully). And those looks will make her feel loved in a big way.
16. This meal was so delicious
For many women, especially women with children, cooking is a chore. And we feel like no one appreciates that we do it. So, do it. Tell your woman that what she has cooked is yummy (even if it wasn’t).
17. Thank you so much for all you do
We all want to be thanked for taking the time to do something for us. So, tell her how much you appreciate it.
18. You are a great parent
Raising kids is so hard. So hard. And, because it’s so hard and crazy, couples often lose sight of each other’s parenting skills. Instead of praising each other, parents often just criticize. So, take a moment and tell her what a great mom she is. She will love it.
19. I would marry you all over again
Who wouldn’t want to hear that you have no regrets about picking them over everyone else, especially if it was, at this point, way back in the day?
20. You complete me
I know — it’s corny. And most women don’t believe that another person can complete them. But, it’s the ultimate love storyline from the ultimate rom-com, so use it and watch her smile.
One more quick word about women whose love language is 'words of affirmation'
You might think that telling your woman that you love her should do the trick, that when you say that she should feel loved. While saying it goes a long way, it only goes so far.
Keep this list close by so that, when you are feeling your love for your woman, you can express it to her in a different way. In a way that might catch her off guard. In a way that might surprise her. In a way that makes her feel loved the way you want her to.
Go ahead. Use your words. You can do it.
More for You:
Mitzi Bockmann is a certified life and relationship coach. She has over 10 years of experience helping people find happiness in life and love.