How To Tell If You're Just Temporary In A Man's Life
You hope this relationship is leading somewhere, but how can you tell if he's wasting your time?
Joshua Resnick / shutterstock.com You've just met this amazing guy and are having the time of your life. He's everything you want — smart, fun, outgoing, successful, charming, a great conversationalist and more.
It's been several weeks and things are going so well, you pinch yourself to make sure this is real.
Yet, every so often, you feel this practically imperceptible undercurrent that something is a little bit off.
You can't put your finger on it. In fact, you sweep it under the carpet because you are finally dating someone great.
Still, you can't deny this nagging suspicion that maybe he's not quite as into you as you hope.
How can you know if he's filling time with you and it's temporary — or if he's actually serious about you?
There are a number of signs that can warn you about a man's true intentions. Keep your eyes open for these red flags, so you can get a better idea of what he might be thinking about the prospect of lasting love.
Here are 10 signs you're just a temporary part of his life.
1. He hasn't introduced you to family.
One surefire sign that you're moving into a serious relationship is when you meet the parents. Sometimes this can take up to three months, but it can be sooner. You may have invited him to dinner with your parents, but there’s no mention of meeting his.
If it's been six to eight weeks and you haven't met any of his friends either, that tells you he's not serious, no matter what he says.
Remember, what a man does and his actions are more important than what he says to know about his intentions.
2. He doesn't plan ahead much.
Your new beau might talk about the future, but he doesn't plan very far in advance.
When you talk about getting tickets to a concert a few months away, he's not sure. If you bring up a summer weekend away, he changes the subject.
When your man would rather be spontaneous, chances are he's hedging his bets and keeping his options open in case he finds a better option.
3. He's inconsistent with his dates or attention.
Even though you have the best time together, he's not consistently available. Some weeks you see him more than once, but then a couple of weeks go by before you hear from him again.
When he reconnects, he tells you how busy he's with work, his kids, etc.
Men who are serious about you don't leave gaps in spending time with you. They want to be with you and get to know you better, so this is a big red flag.
4. His profile is still active on the app.
If you've been seeing a guy for more than a couple of weeks, you've spent the night together but his profile is still up, that tells you he's not thinking about getting serious.
Instead, he's keeping his options open while dating you.
You might not be the right woman for him long-term but are good for a temporary situation. It could also mean he doesn't want anything serious and prefers to date around.
RELATED: 5 Easy Ways To Attract High-Quality, Marriage-Material Men
5. He doesn't like labels.
He's sweet, thoughtful, funny, and you adore him. But he says he doesn't like "labels" like girlfriend or relationship. Maybe he says something like, "Why make things formal?" or "Can't you just enjoy being together?"
If you hear similar comments from your man, that's another red flag waving. He's not serious and has no plans to become attached.
When a man won't "claim" you as his with the girlfriend label, he's still looking or holding back for some reason.
6. He likes to hang out vs. go out on dates.
This is a classic sign of being in a casual relationship. When a guy wants to hang out, he's not making much of an effort to impress you or win you over.
He might think you're crazy about him, so he can just coast. Or he's just happy to be with a nice woman like you who does so much for him, while he's in between relationships.
It's also possible he can't get caught being seen with you because he already has a woman in his life. Either way, this man isn't likely to take this to the next level.
If you want lasting love, he's not the one.
7. He hasn't discussed exclusivity.
Many women won't sleep with a guy unless they agree to be exclusive first. It's a good idea really for many reasons. However, not every woman has the courage to address this directly, so they hope the guy will bring it up.
There are men who will suggest taking down your profiles and becoming exclusive which is wonderful. But if you're dating a man who hasn't said a word, even though you've been spending the night for weeks now, that's not a good sign.
Muster your courage and ask for exclusivity to find out where you stand.
8. He just broke up with someone.
Many people look for someone new to help them get over a breakup as their preferred method of healing. You might be the perfect distraction to get him through this rough patch with your great sense of humor and upbeat personality.
You'll know this is true if he keeps bringing her up and talking about the situation. You don't want to be his therapist or that soft shoulder to cry on — it's not your job.
Let him go so you can find a man who's ready for love with a wonderful woman like you.
9. His divorce is up in the air.
Getting divorced can take a very long time. Whether a man is separated and hasn't filed papers or is in the process, a legal battle can drag out for years. He may think you're the perfect woman to support him while he's slogging through the whole endeavor.
Unfortunately, what often happens is a man leans on your kind heart temporarily, while riding this emotional roller coaster. Once it's all behind him, you could easily become a sad reminder of the nightmare.
That's why you want to be very careful when dating a separated man. He may toss you aside as soon as he's free.
10. He told you he doesn't want anything serious.
When you met this fabulous man, he actually said he wasn't looking for a relationship or anything serious. Then he told you he was willing to see how things go. That's a little bit of double talk.
Believe it or not, he was being honest and put you on notice that he wants to be casual. This is his way of setting those expectations.
Many women are optimistic, so they choose to ignore the first part and focus instead on seeing what happens.
This is the one time to pay attention to a man's words. If he says anything to push you away when you first meet, believe him and move on.
Dating with this more conscious approach will help you avoid men who aren't looking for lasting love. You'll also be able to recognize them more quickly so you can free yourself up for the right guy.
Ronnie Ann Ryan, Love & Magical Life Coach, offers past life readings, love and life coaching. Get her Free book 7 Ways Your Past Lives Affect Your Love Life Now today.