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You think it's love. Yes, it's love. Sure it's love! Wait ... is it, though?
By Lisa Petsinis — Last updated on Apr 08, 2023
When you're in a healthy romantic relationship, it just feels different. You experience a whole list of emotions that are sure signs you love someone and are loved in return.
But how do you know when you're in love with someone and it's time for you to stop searching and make a commitment?
You can try using your rational judgment and checking off the boxes on your ideal partner list, but falling in love isn't always so neat and tidy.
In the end, it comes down to how they make you feel — because feelings don't lie.
How does it feel to be in love?
Your emotions are meant to protect you from making unhealthy relationship choices. You instinctively know how the right relationship doesn't feel. It's not constricting, maddening, suffocating, closed, unstable, or depressing. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Being in love with "the one" feels, well ... good.
Aside from the racing heart and giddy headiness of romantic love in its early stages, love brings on physiological changes.
Neuroscientists researching the effects of love on the human brain have found "empirical evidence of love-related alterations in the underlying functional architecture of the brain."
Research has also found that experiencing love within healthy long-term relationships and marriages can activate centers in the brain and act as a protective mechanism against physical and emotional pain and stress. Of course, love isn't all roses.
Even in the healthiest relationships and marriages, emotions can and do fluctuate.
It's normal to experience a full range of emotions with your partner, including those we tend to think of as negative, such as frustration, anger and hurt.
Love is love, but making and keeping a commitment is a choice you make every day. You must listen to your heart in order to make the best decisions for yourself and your future.
If you're stuck on the fence about your partner and whether or not they're right for you, it's time to connect with your heart and be brutally honest with yourself about what you're feeling.
Here are 10 signs you're in love with someone — and they love you right back:
1. You feel excited
If you're still feeling anticipation after the honeymoon period, you're in great shape!
Do you feel excited when you're together? Real love brings enthusiasm and awakening to experience pleasure and new things.
2. You feel secure
Being in their arms feels like a safe harbor. You never fear them or their actions.
You trust them explicitly and you take comfort in knowing they'll never intentionally lie, cheat, or break your heart.
3. You feel accepted
You know you can live your values and be who you are around them — your authentic and unfiltered self.
They make you feel support when you're going for your dreams, perhaps even when no one else understands them.
4. You feel empowered
You feel capable of solving any problem and acting on your own behalf. You're a free agent with skills and dreams and a whole world out there to conquer.
5. You experience a feeling of radiance
You feel attractive in your own skin and you know that your partner loves all of you. They often tell you that you are beautiful — inside and out.
Thus, there is confidence that radiates and shines from within you.
6. You feel better able to express compassion
Your heart feels two sizes larger. Not only do you have kindness and generosity to show your family, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens, you have compassion for yourself.
This type of love makes you want to nurture yourself and be the best person you can be.
7. You feel hopeful
You envision a future for yourself that is positive, successful, and happy. No matter what is thrown at you, you have faith that you can overcome it.
Together, it's the two of you, for the world!
8. You feel joyful
There is a lightness about you and your relationship.
Beyond fun and laughter, which you experience regularly, you are overcome with delight and pleasure whenever you even think of them.
9. You feel a unique connection
Whether you're sitting side by side or far away, you feel the other's presence. It feels like there is an invisible string that connects you.
You communicate without saying a word and when you're intimate, the world falls away around you.
10. You feel like you are a 'complete' person
Like Jerry Maguire said, "You complete me."
Yes, you may feel like a jigsaw puzzle that fits perfectly together. But, soulmate love will make you feel whole in your own right and full of purpose.
If you’re lucky enough to experience these feelings, you'll know you're in the right relationship. This type of love will sustain you through life's challenges, and your bond will get stronger over time.
Trust your feelings. They won't steer you wrong.
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Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.