Read John Steinbeck's Adorably Heartfelt Love Advice To His Son

john steinbeck.

The 'Of Mice And Men' scribe was also an incurable romantic and loving mentor to his son, Thom.

Today marks the birthday of one of the most legendary literary figures of the twentieth century. Recipient of the Pulitzer Prize (1940), John Steinbeck wrote the classic novel The Grapes of Wrath. Centering around the life of a family as they face copious struggles amidst the Great Depression, the beloved story helped carve Steinbeck's path as a widely celebrated author.

Lesser known is the fact that he was a hardcore romantic who famously passed his candid love lessons onto his son, Thom.

Irrevocably enthralled by words, Steinbeck decided to pursue his passion and — despite his parent's objections — moved to New York in 1925, only to return to California shortly. He fell in love with a woman who would later break his heart by divorcing him while he dealt with the death of his close friend, plunging him into a deep depression, and finally found happiness in his romance with his third wife, Elaine Scott (whom he married in 1950).

While fans of his work don't often consider him a love icon, this letter that he wrote to his son speaks volumes about what was really going on inside the heart of one of America's most revered authors. Thom Steinbeck wanted to convince his parents that his feelings for his girlfriend Susan was more than just puppy love. Here's what this nobel laureate (1962) said to his son in return:

New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that's a good thing — that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.



(Source: Steinbeck: A Life in Letters)

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