For Shame! 7 Crucial Things We Forget To Thank Our Husbands For


Thanks for telling us when we're being assholes, sweetie.

Last October, I celebrated being married for 10 years which was no mean feat. During this time, we've moved houses, birthed two children, lost our jobs, found new jobs, changed careers and almost divorced. (No marriage is perfect, right?) These days, I'm often so caught up in the day-to-day trivialties of running a house, raising the kids, doing the laundry, and keeping the fridge stocked that I forget to appreciate the person sleeping next to me. We dash past each other like ships in the night, only pausing to snap at each other about whose turn it is to take out the trash. Perhaps this sounds familiar?

It's far overdue to take a step back and remind myself of all the things my husband does for me that I completely forget to thank him for. So without further adieu, here we go:

1. Thank you for being attracted to me even though you know how I look in the morning. 

Remember way, way, WAY back when you first started dating your husband? When you'd get up early to get a shower and clean your apartment and put your make-up on and trim your pubes before he came over? Remember how EXHAUSTING that all was? Thank GAWD for being married and being able to walk around with toothpaste on your zits and unwashed hair. And thank you, husband for still wanting to have sex with me looking like that.

2. Thank you for leaving your dirty socks on the floor every. single. day.

I'm still coming to terms with this one considering if we stay married until we're 80, I have another 38 years of gathering up dirty socks. THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS. But rather than fight it, I've learned to accept my husband's thoughtless ritual. Because here's the catch: By throwing his crusty socks in the laundry basket every night on his behalf, I then have full right to ask him to do the laundry at the end of the week and he won't complain because he knows he's to blame. All's fair in love and laundry, right?

3. Thank you for not laughing at me when I'm legitimately excited about a new pair of slippers. 

Two Xmases ago, I complained when my husband bought me slippers, reminding him that ten years previously he had bought me expensive sexy lingerie. I was annoyed by the "boring" gift and let him know. But then I put the slippers on and MY GOD, I've barely taken them off since! In the early days half of a relationship, the joy of getting fancy gifts is being able to tell everyone about them. But being at the stage where your husband can buy you a practical gift and it's just what you need and comfortable to boot? Well, diamonds be damned.

4. Thank you for forcing me to be extremely clever about where I hide our secret chocolate stash. 

Tell me I'm not the only woman who has to hide the cookies behind the pasta or else they'll all be eaten by 6pm. My husband devours all the sweet treats in the house as if he's never been fed. To get a single one for myself, I have to stow the treats in covert locations: behind the old jars of pickle in the fridge, on top of high cupboards, in the vacuum cleaner cupboard (because, let's face it, we know he NEVER goes in there). On the upside, I've become very stealth, which I credit solely to you.

5. Thank you for knowing my favorite flowers. 

Last Valentine's Day, a delivery man came to the door saying my husband had sent me red roses. I was immediately suspicious as my husband knows I only love white roses. The man behaved oddly and didn't ask me to sign anything for the flowers before racing off. Turns out he was my best buddy's new boyfriend and she had organized the whole thing. Sweet as it was, I knew that my husband would never send me red roses. Isn't there something so wonderful about having a man who knows the flowers you love? 

6. Thank you for telling me when I'm being an asshole.

As much as I am loathe to admit this, I have moments of extreme anger or paranoia. (Usually over nothing.) Or alternatively, I stress myself out until I can't see the woods for the trees. In these moments, my dear husband takes my hand and tells me ever-so-sweetly that I'm being a complete jerk. Do I take this from him? Of course not! I rant and rage before taking a moment to realize ... he's absolutely right. Even though we don't want to hear it, we need our other halves to tell us when we're being pains in the ass because it makes us better people.

7. Thank you for keeping my toes warm.

I'm a human freezer. Seriously, my feet could play the role of the "iceberg" in Titanic. Every night, I get into bed and stick my iceberg legs underneath my husband's body because he's a furnace. (And because he lets me.) Let's face it: We would spend our lives making hot water bottles if it weren't for the hot (literally and figuratively) male specimens spooning us. Be kind to your big spoon.