Coping With Your Abortion


How to deal with the aftermath of your painful decision.

A recent client, JoAnne, has given me permission to share some of her journal notes. She is a sweetheart to open up to the whole world. She writes so that others will know they are not alone if they are feeling pain after an abortion. Journalling her pain was a way JoAnne began a journey to peace.

JoAnne writes, "I call for help, no one is there. Help me find my way. As I stand looking for a solid place I only see the broken pieces of a heart once whole. I wonder if I will ever be whole again. If so, where do I begin? I am lost. Does anyone know? This journey I'm on is dark and cold, filled with pain. My heart aches. The hurt inside is raw. The grief is immeasurable."

Her thoughts continue..."Now the pieces are shattered and misplaced. The piece left is cold and hard. Another piece is dark and another piece just lies there dead. Will these pieces ever be restored? Broken and missing pieces...."

Anyone out there ever felt this way after an abortion? If so, the answer is always to find someone to share with. Feeling alone is the deepest hurt anyone can ever experience. This is why the social media of the internet is giving women so much solace. The minute we reach out to someone the pain decreases. Reaching out is a way to begin our journey to peace. Unfortunately, reaching out is the hardest to do when we are feeling the most alone and down.

A good way to start reaching out can begin, like JoAnne, by writing in a journal. I advise those hurting women I meet to start journaling. If it feels frightening to write down your thoughts, if you freeze up when you take pen in hand, you can try this. Simply set an alarm to ring in 20 minutes. Know that you are only going to write for 20 minutes. This seems to take the pressure off. You write what you write. When the alarm rings, you stop writing, even if there are only a few words on the page. You have finished your writing. As you do this, it will eventually get easier to put your pain on paper.

Putting the broken pieces back together always begins by getting things out into the open. The process can be first journaling your thoughts down and then sharing them with a safe person.

The most important thing to know if you are in the same place as JoAnne...grieving and that there is hope. There is someone out there who cares and understands. The first person to care must be you. Start taking care of yourself by writing your story down. Eventually, someone will come along to listen and understand.  There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says, "When the student is ready, the teacher will come." If your pain is "raw and immeasurable" start the journey to peace today. Write it down. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.  You are NOT alone.