Subconscious Sexiness

Subconscious Sexiness

 Leaving Starbucks early this morning, my hands were overflowing so I used my hip, raising my toes a bit, to open the door. Not thinking twice about the effort, a cute guy gave me that look – that impressed, wanna see what else I could do with my hips look, and said, “Nice move.” Of course I’m a retired MENu Dater so I just smiled, thanked the hottie and passed on a word of advice that he’d have better lady luck if he hopped up and opened the door. But I digress.


The experience got me thinking… about moves. And how every single girl ought to have an arsenal of them, subconsciously sewn into the fabric of her actions. Sure some women are just born sexy – they know how to saunter, coyly smile and hair toss out of the womb, but most women have to school themselves… the good news is, if your sexy barometer is a little lower than you’d like, its easy to raise it.


First, study the women who you find to be mercilessly sexy, be it a fictional character, celeb on a red carpet, strangers at a bar, or your besties that always seem to bring all the boys to the yard… use them as a playbook to develop your own brand of moves. Remember, we are talking moves here, not clothing, makeup or words… just body behavior. True sexy is all about subtlety so pay attention to small movements. Using my morning experience as a case study, three tiny alterations made my “move” opening the door at Starbucks sexy: 1) Upon reaching the door, I paused for a nanosecond to turn and get in the position to open it. Whereas most people depart in one swift move, this pause drew attention to me. 2) Rising on my toes elongated my entire body which always makes a woman look sexier. Had I been wearing something calf baring, the effect would have been double. 3) Bumping the door open with my hip had a far greater impact than if I had chosen say my forearm as it attracted any viewer to a more erotic part of my body. So, do you see how this works? When you are out in the field making your own observations, pay attention to how sexy women use the power of their body and the timing also with which they move it. Think simple, think effortless, think natural alternatives. For example, think about how sliding a phone in your back pocket instead of tossing it in your purse can be sexy. Think about how taking your hair out of a ponytail and giving it an effortless shake, while waiting in a grocery store line can be sexy. Think about ending sentences with a natural smile... ever notice how TV personalities always do that and as a result you want to hear what they have to say next?!


Once you have your toolbox filled with moves you that inspire you, practice, practice, practice them… in front of a mirror. I know, it sounds so awkward, but just like you might rehearse for a presentation, or a potentially uncomfortable conversation, introducing new moves into your repertoire is like learning to ride a bike – in the beginning, its unnatural but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Eventually a conscious attempt, will become an unconscious behavior. Believe me, in my hurried mad dash out of Starbucks, I wasn't trying to be sexy, it just happened. After you have your mirrored moves down, strut your new sexy stuff out in the real world… a lot. Begin to integrate these new tricks into your everyday being. There shouldn’t be an “off” switch. Do it all the time. The more you do it, the more confident you will become. Soon these behaviors will be baked into who you are… and you will become one of the women other students of sexy, study!


Every girl has got a cat’s meow in her just waiting to purrr… it’s time to unleash yours!


Live and love largely,