"The Rules" Rethought


 I get asked frequently if I subscribe to or prescribe traditional dating “rules” – you know things like wait x number of days to call a guy back, don’t sleep with a man before x number of dates, never be the first to say “I love you,” and so on and so on. Well the simple answer, is no. Living a life, a love one or otherwise by a code of hard and fast rules doesn’t allow for flexibility of circumstance. Many rules need to be used as a learner’s guide and then modified based on your personal belief system and what directly works for you as a result of having tested them out. Each of us is a living laboratory and with constant experimentation and analysis, we can learn what formulas so to speak, provide us with our desired results, so don’t be afraid to tweak, tweak, tweak away in your personal lab.


That said, on my own journey and along the journey of my clients and readers, I’ve learned some rules that never seem to fail anyone. Here is a sampling of them:


Invest in yourself. Confidence is key to attract great love into your life and confidence is acquired through loving who you are. The more you invest in becoming a beautiful person on the inside and the outside, the more confident you will become. Further, you will have more to offer to a relationship and will be less likely to settle as you will be fully aware of and committed to, your worth.


Always play yourself. If you follow the rule to invest in yourself, you will not need to transform into another persona. By playing the role of you, all of the time, you will never wonder if you had done this or not done that, what might have happened. You will also not second guess if a man likes you for the person you really are, or the person you have presented. Trust me, you, is an academy award winning role, every time.


Stay present. To keep your sanity and dating future intact, live in the moment you are in right now. Remind yourself that real feelings take time to develop and relationships need room to blossom for maximum growth potential. Think of early dating as get-to-know-him time; not the time to quickly determine if Mr. First Date could be your future groom.