Hate Sports? 5 Tips For 'Football Widows'

For some, the kickoff of football season is a wondrous thing. It means that fall is here and, on both the professional and collegiate levels, the games have begun. What team(s) will make it to their respective championships? How will the new recruits and first-round draft picks do? For others, football season means feeling left out, rejected, angry and resentful. The term "football widows" was coined to describe how women feel when their men park themselves in front of the TV or are off to the stadium for — what feels like — the whole weekend. This lasts from about September until February. Even though their guys are alive and well, these women feel like they've been widowed. Weekends used to be a time when they could connect with their men, but during football season, they feel left utterly alone. Let's note here that there are plenty of men who don't like football and there are plenty of women who do. A 2011 poll shows that 64% of Americans watch the NFL. 73% of these Americans are men while 55% are women. Despite these numbers, there are still women (and some men too) who consider themselves "football widows." There are couples that argue about how much football is being watched or played and how neglected one party feels in all of this. /node/160769 Your partner's love of the game doesn't have to tear you apart. If you're smart and handle this difference in preference wisely, you can even end up closer than before. Try these five survival tips if you feel like a "football widow": #1: Stop making your partner choose. Move beyond the "football or me" ultimatum because it's only going to do one of two things: (a) It will push your partner further away from you . You know how frustrating and upsetting it is to be put in the impossible situation of choosing between an activity and pleasing someone that you love. If you say something like, "Show me that I matter to you. Turn off the game and come shopping with me," it's likely that your partner will plunk down on the couch in a huff and turn his (or her) attention back to the game. (b) It will breed resentment. If your partner agrees go do something with you instead of watching football, guilt will probably be the motivating influence. In that moment, your partner is probably fuming and feeling resentful. More couples advice from YourTango: /node/97812 /node/154103 /node/59645 #2: Get a life. Find things that you genuinely enjoy doing and then go do them while your partner is enjoying football. Who says that a couple has to like the same things or do everything together? Stop telling yourself that it's a problem that your partner likes to watch football and you don't. It doesn't have to mean that you can't be happy or close. Remind yourself of the things that you like to do and then go do them. These might be things that you partner doesn't like, by the way. We do not recommend that you go do an activity with an "I'll show him" kind of attitude or with an intention to make your partner jealous . Use this time to further develop your own interests and passions. /inline/node/154652 #3: Schedule "together-time" together. Keep communication open so that you're not planning a hike or dinner out when his (or her) favorite team is playing. Take turns coming up with fun ideas for date nights or things to do together. When you invite your partner into the planning of your "together-time," you are less likely to have schedule conflicts and your partner will be more engaged in activities. Set aside regular time for connecting. Contrary to how it sometimes feels, there are enough hours in the day. Carve out that time and do something with your partner that you both enjoy. #4: Be present when you two are together. Get the most out of the time you spend together instead of fixating on how much time your partner watches or plays football or how neglected you feel. Many people waste the moments that they have with the one they love by thinking back to past disappointments or projecting into a future that they fear. Intentionally be here now. Look your partner in the eyes. Feel the appreciation and love alive in this moment. Have fun and enjoy yourself. #5: Give football a chance. Maybe you absolutely hate it, but maybe you've not really ever sat down and watched a game. Learn a bit about the game or research and find out something that you find interesting about your partner's favorite team or player. Try watching at least part of the game with your partner and be sure to notice how much enthusiasm he (or she) shows doing so. /inline/node/150670 If you watch a football game or learn more about the sport and still don't like it, that's okay. Remind yourself about how rich the world — and your relationship — is, partly because everyone is unique and everyone has different likes and interests. Now, remind yourself of how wonderful it is that you can share passion and connection with this unique partner in your life. That's something to cheer about! Want to know how to create passionate, close and lasting love? Get Susie and Otto's free ebook Passionate Heart~Lasting Love by visiting www.relationshipgold.com

Hate Sports? 5 Tips For 'Football Widows'

Football season can take a toll on couples. Here's how to get through it together.