Heartbreak, Sex

How Does An Affair Start?


When the woman discovers that he is married, she will make it clear that she doesn't have relationships with married men. That is the signal for the man to go into conquest mode. He will pursue her possibly for years because he enjoys the chase. She will continue to refuse his advances as long as she can tolerate it or until he catches her at a weak and vulnerable moment. If she has a good relationship in her life, chances are she can outlast him, but if she is single, available or married and unhappy, she will eventually succumb. Why? Because the man is so charming. He is wonderful, he is a knight in shining armor, he is a hero, he is this wonderful dedicated family man who is wonderful with his children and attentive to his wife. So the woman asks herself, "what is she doing?" 5 Rules For Being The Other Woman

She continues to say no, and the more she says no, the more aggressive, charming and attentive he gets. This is the ultimate male challenge...to win over a woman who is saying no even though he knows she really is attracted to him. A married man will work harder than any available man to make a woman fall in love with him. He will be more charming, loving, attentive and wonderful than a woman can imagine that any man can be. So what happens next is this woman who finally surrenders to her feelings for this man, asks him to leave his wife for her. The response from him will almost inevitably be one of two, "but I'm married and I'll never leave my wife!" or "Yes, I'll leave my wife, but not yet." (She's not ready, my children are too young, I can't afford it yet, my mother won't approve etc.)

Initially the woman will respond with anger. "If you love your wife, what are you doing with me?" Here is the clincher that finally hooks the woman; he is committed to his wife and the woman buys into his honorable dedication to his wife and thinks if only I could have a man who loves me like that. It is at this point in their relationship that the woman's final act of settling may occur. Either she will end it and go off to nurse her broken heart, wondering how he could have been so wonderful and such a heel at the same time, or she will continue the affair and settle for being the other woman in his life.

Either way the woman is damaged. The man will go back to his wife who was either completely unaware of the romantic drama or who also chooses to settle by living in denial of his infidelity. Then life goes on. The other woman plays a significant part in the perpetuation of this man's marriage. She makes it tolerable for him to remain in an intolerable situation. She makes it possible for him to remain in a marriage that doesn't satisfy him. That marriage situation can range from boredom to outright contempt, but a man won't leave his marriage until his wife has dismissed him, either consciously or unconsciously. She makes it possible for him to deny that there is anything missing in his relationship with his wife. Therefore, the wife wins, if you can call it winning to stay in a relationship with a cheating man. But what can you do? Should I Confess My Affair To My Wife?

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.