Why You Probably Shouldn't Be Friends With Your Ex

Why You Probably Shouldn't Be Friends With Your Ex [EXPERT]

Some people can't do "endings." If you can't do endings (if you're still friends with absolutely everyone you've gone out with), you might need to think about that. Others just don't end things because they don't know how. If your ex is one of those, don't let him or her lead the way. Take charge of ending it and not remaining friends. Advice: I'm Still In Love With My Ex-Boyfriend

If you are the one who isn't able to end things, don't inject your inability to come to terms with the end of the relationship on the other person. It's simply not fair. Yes, she's hurt. You're making things worse. If you truly think she is terrific, then let this terrific person have her space to heal. You cannot have it both ways. Leave it alone. 

If your ex is asking you to be friends, don't let him or her manipulate or guilt you into it. Your healing is what matters, not impressing your ex with your ability to be okay with the friends thing. It's okay if you don't want to be friends. It's more than okay, it's healthy. So, if you're the person who is being asked, say no. Short and sweet. Pure and simple.

Don't try to explain or rationalize ... just say no or maybe no, not now. The problem with saying "not now" is that it will usually be followed by "When?" and you just don't know. No is a one-word sentence. Say it and then go. No further explanation necessary. Again, being friends with your ex can be a minefield. Don't try to cross it in the early stages of the breakup10 Secrets Guaranteed To Help You Move The Heck On From Your Ex After A Breakup

The early stage is about you taking care of you. You need time and space to heal. Be good to you and the healing will happen.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.