When to say "I Love You"


It's always hard to tell if it's too soon to say "I love you" for the first time.

The three words I – love – you  have never been uttered  more carefully and with extreme trepidation than that first time.  And still the timing of those words proves to be a sticky point with varying levels of opinions. ‘I love you’ and when to say it, clearly has women endlessly discussing this over copious amounts of coffee or wine.  It’s a contentious issue with both of the sexes left dazed and confused about the when, what and how.  New research  has actually proven that men fall in love much faster than women, taking them 88 days to say ‘I love you’ with women taking longer at 134 days

Did Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth say :"I love you£ too soon?

So When Do You Say I Love You?

The study compiled by YouGov for eHarmony, has rung true in my recent dating experience.  I  was dating a guy and he said it to me on the fourth, (yes, fourth!) date. And that happened to be within a two-week period.  To say he was keen was an understatement.  He said it to me  purely and simply as he felt ‘love’…and I was left utterly stunned, quite frankly.  Number one, I barely knew the guy.  It was a blind date set-up, so it’s not like we knew each other as friends beforehand.  Secondly, LOVE?  I was still deciding whether I actually liked the guy, let alone ‘love’.  My initial response was ‘wow, that’s very nice and quite soon’.  I didn’t overact, back off or gush back with an ‘I love you too!’ What am I, crazy?!

Everything changed after this point. There was an immense pressure placed on me to feel the same way.  I found myself playing catch up with his feelings, particularly as he continued to repeat it on several dates after. Suffice to say, I think it affected our dates after that as I wasn’t able to reciprocate as I hadn’t felt the same way as he did.

A risk anytime you say it

I am sure there are a ton of couples out there who have said it early on, i.e., within a month or two, but I am pretty certain that it wouldn’t be said back to them.  You need to have that high sense of awareness, reading someone’s signals and cues to be able to confidently say that and to be certain of a response.  But does it really matter if one says it first and the other reacts smiling sweetly?  I mean, someone has to say it first and it’s a risk any time you say it.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.