Just be Yourself


“Just be yourself”.  It’s the token piece of advice given to every anxious dater. We think okay, sure , I’ll just be myself – no problem! But how many of us actually know what that means? I can’t count the number of hobbies I’ve acquired for the sake of settling. There was my UFC phase, puck bunny phase, rock climbing phase, party girl phase, groupie phase, when I became a fishing fanatic, and that time I decided to become vegan. You get the point; it’s exhausting trying to be someone your not!

The best thing that you can do when actually trying to find someone to be with is to find out who you are first.  Stop being a generic template and figure yourself out. Here are three things you must do before ever going on another date:

1. Investigate Your Interests

Get eclectic. Start sampling experiences from the diverse portfolio that is the world. You know that thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet? Sign up for it right now. You might not know what you like until you give yourself the chance to experience it.  Need some fire in your engine? Check out sites like Livingsocial, Groupon, and Pinterest.

Get Specific. Do you know how many people like to “travel”? According to the search I just did on Fling.com over 27,120 people in my city listed ‘travel’ as an interest. At 1 date / day that would take me 74 years to go out each of those people. Not sure about you but I’d like to find “The one” before the ripeness of 99 sets in. Let’s continue with travel as an example. What sort of travelling do you like? Are you ready to canoe alongside an Anaconda in the Amazon River or sip margaritas Oceanside in Riviera Maya. “Travel” means many things to different people as do “music”, “sports”, “outdoors”.. colors… words…

2. List Your Dreams

When we have dreams we have ambition. Ambition is one of the top qualities people seek in their partner.  This is your life take some time to really think about what you want from it.

Make a list of your dreams

Start by writing down as many answers to these questions as possible:

If I had unlimited time and unlimited money I would  ______________

If I were my ideal self I would be/have __________________

10 years from now I will be/have _____________________

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.