How To Help Her Reach Orgasm

Avoid rushing her arousal and savor her body.
While a lot of women like the occasional quickie, a lot of them also like more leisurely lovemaking. So, give her the time she needs to get sexually excited and fully aroused, allowing plenty of time for foreplay. Don’t go for the gold in grabbing at her breasts or genitals rather work her whole body, worshipping it. Attend to every part, letting her know how much you're enjoying yourself, first with massage oil, then with lubricant as you zero in on prime hot spots.

Don't try to take control.
If her orgasm is meant to happen later than sooner, resist the temptation to "save the day." Think about how disruptive it would be for you to have lost yourself in sexual sensations only to have a well-meaning partner grilling you about where you're at, when you're going to get to the next level and what she can do to help. Allow the process to unfold. Focus on maintaining feelings of passion.

Find our how she wants to coach you, if at all.
While it's nice to ask for feedback, checking-in as to whether a certain technique, touch, pressure… feels good, this can be disruptive to some women. Have the conversation on best ways to share reactions to the action before seduction even starts.

Be receptive to her feedback.
It's important to remember that every person is different when it comes to their pleasures, likes and preferences. So listen to your partner's requests, being open to what she's telling you, and adapting your style accordingly. What might've worked with a previous partner isn't working for her— a matter not to be taken personally—and you need to follow her directions in helping her claim her big "O."

Honor her request to practice safer sex.
Worries about getting pregnant or acquiring an STD can have some women more in their heads than in their bodies. Using a condom or dental dam can help to put her at ease and to focus on the pleasuring.

Talk to her about any pressures to perform that you're feeling.
A lot of women expect men to be the master conductor of sex sessions, from initiation to heating things up to a grand finale. If these are her expectations, let her know how you feel and how such notions are impacting your performance. Frame everything about what you need for her to do for you in empowering you to better satisfy her. Remind her that you don’t do "it," as in orgasm, to her or for her. You do it with her.

This article was originally published at Sinclair Institute . Reprinted with permission from the author.