Date Night: Not Just Another Chore


Do you approach date night as just one more chore? Come on, be creative and have some fun!

Date night. You know it’s good for your relationship. You want to. You mean to. But, darn it, you’re busy with a house to run, bills to pay, bosses to please, projects to complete, kids to care for—and on and on. Add the unexpected—sick kids, car problems, leaking pipes—and it’s hard to find the time to even grab a cup of coffee together. But think of it this way: that laundry list of responsibilities and worries shouldn’t be what stands in your way, it should also be what fuels you. It should be what lights a fire under your collective butts to come together as a couple, without distraction, even if only for a couple of hours a week. Those excuses? They're nonsense. Let’s take a closer look:

#1. No Time. Even the President has time for date night with his wife. If your relationship is a priority, you’ll find the time. Don’t get hung up on the word “night.” If the idea of a romantic Friday night dinner sounds terrific, but you can’t make it happen no matter how hard you try, get creative! Get up at five in the morning and head out to the local diner for breakfast together before work. Hey, even if you have to meet in your own house, chances are that this is one time of day you could actually connect without too many interruptions.

#2. No Money. Again, get creative! You don’t have to spend money to go to a park, take a hike, or go to a museum. How about creating your own drive-in movie rght in your own car? There are few of us who don’t have a portable DVD player at our disposal. Pick out your favorite love story (or horror flick if you want to jump into his or her arms at the scary parts), pop some popcorn and hit the SUV for three hours of private time. You don’t even need a babysitter for this one if your kids are old enough to be 100 yards away from you. And, oh boy, think of the make-out possibilities!!

#3. No Honey. Stop waiting for an invitation and ask. Yes, ask. It doesn’t matter that you’d rather your honey did the asking. Once you’re out on the date, sharing your week and reconnecting, it won’t matter who asked whom to the dance.

When you’re on the date, don’t talk about the same old worries and issues that you’ve circled around a hundred times. Take the conversation to a higher plane. Ask your sweetheart to share the best moment of the last few days. Bring up your favorite memory about being a couple—or an inside joke you share. Most importantly, have fun. This is date night. Everything else can (and will) be there when it’s over but you’ll be fueled up and more solidly joined as a team of two to deal with it all.

Shela Dean is a Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy and a brand new blog,