**Don't miss your chance to chat with Sheila on the YourTango Facebook page this Thursday, November 10th at 2pm ET. Find out more about the event and RSVP here !** "Nothing good together ever breaks apart." When I finally learned to embrace those words, no matter how abrupt or painful, I was no longer stopped in my tracks or left feeling as though the rug had been pulled from underneath my feet. Who among us has not been left thinking (and yet again rethinking) about the reason he or she walked away? Why does experiencing the angst of broken friendships and family relationships in life seem to be a required course? What could I have done differently? Why didn't I get that right? How can this be fair? Why did it have to end? These are the questions we ask ourselves when the time comes to say good-bye. Whether by our choice, or life's force, the real reason it didn't work out is ... it was necessary for your growth, learning, and advancement on this journey. The reality of endings pave the way for new beginnings. /node/98259 I'll never forget the words spoken by a former client after a bitter divorce, " I didn't choose it, but I wouldn't change it ." She had entered her marriage a fragile woman, barely capable of managing money or making decisions independently. After navigating the challenges that accompany divorce she found the courage, confidence, and inner compass to start her own cake decorating and delivery business. Today she earns a six figure salary and operates three locations. Similarly, the love you lost today could have been brought into your life to prepare you for the love you'll treasure for a lifetime. I'll say it again, the real reason it didn't work out is … it was necessary for your growth, learning, and advancement on this journey. There has never been and will never be a door in your life that closes without another one swinging wide open and inviting you in. When relationships don't work out your job is not to sulk, pout, and lose valuable time asking why. Your job is to embrace the lesson at the breaking point, learn from it, and move forward. Without a doubt there is a lesson. I've made no secret of the fact that I didn't exactly grow up in the Huxtable Family. For many years I resented the fact that my parents fell so far short of the ideal that it wasn't even worth measuring. Today as I'm preparing to be a mother I am grateful for the lessons they taught me. I will no doubt make mistakes as a parent, but at the same time I have received expert training in what not to do on that journey. In addition, the lesson of acceptance was fostered during all of those years of struggle to make a square peg fit into a round hole. I've finally learned to focus on the positives within my family and continue moving forward. /node/98981 Where will your focus lead you when things don't work out? When we choose to fight the inevitable tides of change and disappointment that come along with the territory of forging relationships, we may just find ourselves drowning. Know that as long as a relationship is healthy and or serving you as a tool for learning it will exist in your life. When relationships become toxic, imbalanced, or are no longer useful as a catalyst for personal development, they will fall away. This is a cycle of life. Become like the snake who sheds worn out skin so easily. It's necessary to become new again. Take heart when relationships don't work out and realize … nothing good together ever breaks apart.
