Singles Changing The Dating Rules


We simply want healthy relationships while keeping our most beloved accessory, our freedom.

As singles, we are changing all the rules. Forget the “put a ring on it” anthem, the white dress, going to the chapel, or the vows. Single people are choosing to forego the expected wedding route, completely changing the definition of dating normalcy.

Instead of pursuing a spouse, we game changers are playing to our independency. We don’t want to get married. We don’t want to move in. We simply want healthy relationships while keeping our most beloved accessory, our freedom.

This dating perspective, however, requires that we explain our dating style to potential partners who may not understand. We have to be up-front and honest from the onset of any relationship. The rules have to be clear. Explaining that there isn’t the one, but several different “ones” helps your dates avoid getting his/her feelings hurt. This also ensures that the partner doesn’t get confused about the your intentions, as a single.

It’s important that we must put the ball in his/her court. With the knowledge that there isn’t a ring at the end of any relationship with us, our lovers can choose whether or not they want to be with firm believers in open relationships.

As a single person, there won’t always be people who understand and share your beliefs on dating. They may agree at first, but secretly they’re hoping to change your mind. They think you’re as serious about your dating views as Kim Kardashian was about her marriage. That's why communication is key. We need to be understanding toward our lovers’ feelings. Statements like “Well, it’s your fault. I told you when we met…” aren’t exactly the picture of class. After all, you clearly care about them. You’re dating them, aren’t you? So sit down and sensitively discuss your partners’ thoughts. You may not want to marry them, but you can still picture a future together… just outside of the chapel doors.

If after talking, your partner still wants to live together, be monogamous and/or get married, make it clear that you want them to be happy. If they want a monogamous, wedded life, then maybe it’s best to pursue someone who can offer them that. Don’t leave the door open. Don’t string them along. You know you don’t want to get married, so kindly express that. You two are at an impasse, and it’s time to part ways.

Throughout my life, I’ve learned to erase the word “never” from my vocabulary. I’m constantly changing and evolving. But one thing that hasn’t altered is my desire to be single. I’ve hurt and been hurt just like everyone, but through years of dating and realizing what works best for me, I’ve learned monogamous is definitely not my middle name. I can’t imagine myself ever donning a white gown, or waking up to the same person every morning. That just isn’t me. Since this discovery, I’ve been living my true life. I’m no longer dishonest with my partners. I’m up front with my intentions.

This type of dating style is definitely not for everyone. I’ve had men choose not to date me because they wanted a monogamous relationship with the potential for marriage. This is great to find out in the beginning so that we aren’t wasting each other’s time pursuing something that was never there.

You can have a meaningful relationship with someone while having an open relationship. Marriage or living together isn’t always the recipe for a wonderful life. As single people, however, we need to learn how to communicate. We must be honest with our partners in order to have meaningful relationships. So, singles establish your dating rules and learn how to express them to your lover to avoid intentionally hurting anyone. Let’s be as open as possible in all of our open relationships.

Sienna Sinclaire ~ Naughty Los Angeles Sex & Dating Coach

This article was originally published at Naughty Lifestyle Guide. Reprinted with permission from the author.