Reality Check! 8 Ways To Nudge Your Post-Grad Kids OUT Of The Nest

Wait! What? We all want our kids to keep in touch. Especially now that they're away from home! But does your desire to stay connected justify paying a bill they racked up?

Cutting the purse strings won't cut the lines of communication. Trust your relationship will remain intact whether or not you're footing the bill.

Put bluntly — paying off their credit card debt is is like handing a fat guy on a treadmill a pizza.

How do you suppose they got the huge bill in the first place? A) They spent way more than they can afford, and B) If you pay that bill it cycles your spend-happy kid right back to cycle "A."
 

If mom or dad is the "cash cow” you can bet your kids will milk that good thing for all it's worth.

Easy money is always more attractive than earning money by working hard for it. Endlessly footing the bill for every expense frees your kids up from planning ahead and budgeting their own money. Handing out cash to your adult child is kind of like the "serving size” on the bag of chips. It's very easy to lose track of how many times your hand goes in the bag. Nip that unhealthy habit in the bud NOW! 

During high school most kids are oblivious to the fact that their parents paid insurance on the car they borrowed (and likely drove semi-recklessly). They knew it took gas money to get to the movies, but they had no clue somebody was charging their parents in case THEY (or anyone else) did something stupid.

Sure car insurance is expensive, but it's a stark reality of responsibly owning and operating a car. If they're ready for the freedom of having their own car and going wherever they choose — they're ready to pay for the insurance.

Yes, we're serious. Look, we always want our kids to feel loved and welcome in their childhood home, but we don't want them to get so comfortable there that they become complacent.

Jotting down a "lease" agreement of sorts helps everyone understand some boundaries, if they need a place to land for a little while after college graduation. If you want to charge them a discounted rate, fine (that's mighty nice of you) ... but paying some sort of rent should definitely be a part of that agreement.

Sometimes your young adult kids truly exhaust all options, are between jobs, or have encountered an emergency situation and need to move back home. If that's the case, make sure you discuss a reasonable end date for their time there. Often a deadline is good motivation to take the next step.

Remember the film in science where the mother bird pushes her baby from the nest to encourage flight? You may need to sharpen your beak, Mom and Dad. 
 

Bribery and/or blackmail is never healthy. Don't give your child money in an attempt to control their behavior, i.e. "We'll give you this loan, if you come home more often."

If you decide to loan your child money, treat it like a business transaction not a conditional sign of love. Applying a little guilt to the bottom line might be tempting, but it's not fair. At the end of the day, your relationship with your son or daughter is worth more than any amount of money.
 

Trying to relive your glory days through your son or daughter often shoves them deep into debt — or financial dependence on you. When you encourage them to hit every concert, buy a cool car, always look great, and take exotic trips to places you only dream about from your desk at work, you're likely fueling their irresponsible spending.

By all means, encourage them to "seize the day" and celebrate their youth, but not in ways that result their over-spending.