All I Wanna Do, Is Hear Some Truth

How important is honesty in a relationship?

The controversy surrounding Sheryl Crow’s alleged knowledge of ex-beau, Lance Armstrong’s, performance enhancing drug use may have her singing, “All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun.” The 50-year-old, singer-songwriter started making the rounds to promote her new album, but instead encountered questions from people wanting to know just how much she knew about her former fiancé’s doping habits.

Sheryl told Entertainment Tonight, “I think that honesty is always the best bet and that the truth will set you free.”

How important is honesty in a relationship?

What if your spouse was lying to you about: how much money he spends beyond your agreed-upon budget, or how much she invested in that “next big thing,” or the amount of cash he’s stashing away? The Money Couple® calls these behaviors Financial Infidelity, dishonest choices you make to hide your spending or secret saving from your spouse. 

Unfortunately, Financial Infidelity is as popular today as Super Bowl ads. Almost all relationships have some form of it. The Money Couple® found that 65% of women have a secret credit card or a secret stash of cash. These women admitted that they hadn’t told their spouse, but they felt they did it to “protect the family.” Starting to sound familiar? Join in when we hit the chorus.

But seriously, the emotional toll that Financial Infidelity takes on your Money Relationship is far more devastating than the toll it takes on your money.  You can recover from overspending.  You can close a credit card account.  You can start saving for college. In fact, you can successfully work through almost any money problem. But lost trust involves major repair work for a Money Relationship™.

Financial Infidelity is a breach of trust and that hurts, no matter how much money is involved.

Every individual views money in a different way – their Money Personality™. Each person also has a Primary and a Secondary Money Personality.  These unique viewpoints affect how they see money and in what manner they might be tempted to commit Financial Infidelity. The way a person’s Primary and Secondary Money Personalities interact can be a big help or … not.

Risk Takers want to buy into “the next big thing” for the thrill of potential gains and they don’t always think to bring their spouse into the loop. Spenders love spending money to buy gifts for others, or things for themselves. They struggle with Financial Infidelity when they spend beyond agreed-upon amounts or might even keep a secret account to avoid constraints on their desire to spend. Savers might commit Financial Infidelity with a secret stockpile of cash to guard against their partner spending too much – the money may still be there, but the honesty is missing.

None of these behaviors in isolation seem devastating, but if you’re hiding or lying about money in a relationship, you’re committing Financial Infidelity.

The point of uncovering Financial Infidelity in your Money Relationship is not to point fingers or place blame. It’s a chance to understand what’s really happening in your relationship so you can get rid of any tension over money and anything that’s holding you back from a strong, healthy relationship.

Now, hopefully the level of honesty in your relationship won’t be in tomorrow’s world headlines, but making the effort to rebuild any damaged trust in your relationship is worth more than any money at stake. You can reclaim the dreams you had together when you first met, and your promise to be true.

Click HERE to take our FREE Money Relationship Quiz  or go to to simply and scientifically measure the amount of Financial Infidelity in your relationship.  While you’re there, learn about all 5 Money Personalities, discover your differing Money Personalities™ and get tools to handle the challenges they may present. Then get honest with each other, so you can finish the race as champions.

Make it Happen!
Scott & Bethany Palmer
The Money Couple®
Creators of The 5 Money Personalities™