Are You Picking The Wrong Women?


If you find yourself dating but still single, learn how to break the pattern and find the right one.

I recently met a man who said that he had no trouble approaching and attracting women. He was handsome, successful, and confident. Even though he felt that he could date with ease, there was one little problem.

He was still single.

There is nothing wrong with being single, of course. But this man was in his mid thirties and appeared to be serious about finding the right woman for a long term relationship. Can you relate to his predicament? Follow these steps to get back on the right path.

1. Select Your Non-Negotiables

I’m not a fan of creating lists of the qualities or skills that your future partner should possess because I believe it will limit your chances of finding love. However, you should select five non-negotiables that a person must have in order to consider a relationship with them. For example, I look for a man who is spiritual, generous, honest, intelligent, and loves/wants children. If I meet someone who does not possess these qualities, I immediately move along because I know that I will never budge on those characteristics. Write down your five non-negotiables and think about them whenever you are interacting with a new woman.

2. Keep an Open Mind

After you create your list of non-negotiables, you may find yourself thinking of many other qualities that you are looking for in your future partner. This is where it is essential to keep your mind open to new possibilities. Sure, it would be wonderful to meet someone who also loves to cook, dance or x, y, and z, but these are not dealbreakers. I call these characteristics bonuses, not essentials, so try to be flexible while dating. It is important to realize that you don’t possess every bonus that your partner would ideally desire, so give her a break! You may realize the bonuses don’t matter in the long run, and even find her shortcomings in some areas endearing. No one is perfect!

3. Expand Your Social Scene

Do you find yourself frequenting the same restaurants/bars/friends’ houses? Maybe it’s time to shake up your routine. You never know how meeting one new person can change your life: I know many people who met their significant others through new friends. Walk a different route home from work, peruse a new bookstore, and smile at strangers. Sometimes, it really is that simple. You’ll never meet Miss Right while sitting on the couch.

4. Trust the Process

Dating can be a tedious process, but it certainly helps to have a sense of what you are looking for in order to weed out women who will not be a strong fit with your beliefs and lifestyle. Do not become discouraged if you are not meeting women who do not meet your five non-negotiables; instead, feel grateful that you are not wasting your time on women who ultimately will not be in your future. Stick to the process, and take things one day at a time. Good luck to you and keep me posted on your dating adventures!

Love always,


This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.