5 Signs The Problem With Your Relationships Comes From Your Past Life

If you are experiencing problems with your partner or have noticed difficult relationship patterns, it might be a result of something in this life or perhaps from a past life. 

But what is a relationship pattern? And how do I spot them?

The best way to describe it is when you see the same thing happening over and over again with your romantic partner, even though the people change. A pattern is anything that repeats and that is worth looking into.

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When your relationship patterns repeatedly result in disappointment, hurt feelings and broken hearts, difficult communication, and damaged self-esteem, pay attention. Something is not right and needs to be addressed.

While it's true that being in a relationship takes work, it shouldn't be incredibly hard, either. The good parts need to outweigh the tough stuff for the connection to be healthy and positive.

The five areas to look at regarding your relationship patterns are how you pick your lovers, how you communicate, how you get along, how you let them treat you, and how you feel about yourself in a relationship.

You'll want to think over each area objectively to catch on to relationship patterns and do your best to turn them around. Repeating the same mistakes over and over takes a deep toll on your heart and self-worth.

If it's time to make some changes, consider these five areas of your relationships.

Here are 5 signs the problem with your relationships comes from your past life:

1. How you pick your lovers

Sometimes, no matter how you try, you pick the same kind of person again and again. This is true even if, when you first meet, it seems like you have finally chosen someone different. Then you discover you've run into the same problems.

How can this happen? That’s a signal letting you know you probably have a "type."

When you have a type, you are attracted to the same kind of person who has the same qualities or personality characteristics. You might like someone charming, smart successful, or confident who takes the lead.

The trouble with having a type is that while you get to enjoy the qualities you adore, those will always be paired with the problems that cause you to be unhappy and break up. Types are a "package deal," meaning you can’t separate charisma from arrogance, addiction, cheating, and so on, whatever the problem is.

How to fix it: Recognize that when you meet a prospect who is your type, you are about to repeat this unsatisfying relationship pattern.

Don't feel too bad about this inclination towards the same sort of partner. It could be a symptom of a past life pattern you are working to overcome. Awareness of such a relationship pattern is the first step to healing it.

Your smartest move, even though it's not easy, is to walk away or break up. Then, when you are ready, push yourself to find a different kind of person who will be a more compatible match. You can find other types of people attractive, once you are willing to let go of the pattern.

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2. How you communicate

You might be attracted to mysterious people. They ask questions and listen to you share about your life, but when you think about it, you know almost nothing about their life. That's a sign you might be repeating a relationship pattern about communication.

Some people keep their lives compartmentalized and won’t share anything of consequence about how they live. They may blame it on being a very private person.

If this makes you suspicious, good because it should send up red flags that something is not right.

If you're in a relationship with someone who is secretive, chances are strong they're hiding something. Maybe he's not single, doesn't live alone, or doesn't work where he says he does. Honest people don't hide who they are.

Your instincts might clammer for you to hang in there and give the person a chance. They have other good qualities you find incredibly attractive, and you prefer to let those things override common sense.

In this case, you might be looking at a relationship pattern from a past life. You could recognize a lover from a different incarnation, or you might be repeating the way you have previously interacted.

How to fix it: To shift things, you want to put aside the hope you can get the person to trust you and reveal themselves, and instead, move on. That's how you break an unhealthy relationship pattern.

You can't change or fix anyone. The only power you have is to make wise choices to take care of yourself.

Other communication issues include bursting into crazy, screaming fights, or a person who "stonewalls" you, being unwilling to discuss problems at all. These are characteristics of a person unwilling to negotiate, compromise, or grow which are not fixable.

If this sounds like your relationship patterns, but you still feel deeply attached, you might be seeing evidence of a past life issue. You could be attached to a person you've been with before or you could again be repeating an unhealthy pattern.

The best thing to do for your heart and sanity is to get help if needed, and then let go and move on.

3. How you get along

Some people just don't get along. For example, Ricky and Lucy Ricardo — the Being the Ricardos movie was just released on Amazon Prime. They loved each other, but that was not enough to keep them from fighting non-stop.

This is an unpleasant relationship pattern and if you relate to your partner this way, you will spend a lot of time very unhappy.

Love is not supposed to be this hard. If you insist this person is the only one for you, even though you just can't get along, this is a relationship pattern that needs your attention.

How to fix it: Perhaps in a past life, your relationship required struggle due to war or religious strife. You could be reliving such a pattern now, even though there are no war or religious restrictions.

Another possibility is that you are programmed by a past life to think being in love automatically means you are going to fight. Passion for each other also means passionate disagreements.

Again, this is not true. It could simply mean you are not well suited to each other.

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4. How you let them treat you

Do you make excuses for your partner about how you are treated? This is another one of the painful relationship patterns that can leave you feeling like you are going in circles.

If your lover is unkind, thoughtless, or mean, leading to a blowup, followed by remorse and a short honeymoon period, that's a definite and troubling pattern!

You deserve to be treated well and with respect, regardless of the circumstance. If in a past life, you have been a slave or servant, then you might feel this is a natural way to be treated and you are lucky to even have a relationship. But again, that is not true.

How to fix it: No matter what your situation is today, you deserve to be well-respected and cherished. The pattern here is that you are willing to accept less than you deserve. Perhaps you are in this situation so you learn how to stand up for yourself.

Some relationships are not meant to last and are in your life to serve a different purpose. A poor relationship can be a catalyst for you to decide you deserve better.

That would be an empowering result if you left behind a partner who treated you poorly, to heal and seek a kinder and more loving partner.

5. How you feel about yourself in a relationship

Some relationships can lift you and allow you to stretch, grow, and positively see yourself. If your partner is supportive and loving, then congratulations! You are in a healthy relationship that expands and builds your world.

On the other hand, a relationship can also be nothing short of dismal, abusive, and damaging. For example, if you are with a narcissist or other abusive type of personality, you may feel belittled, and unworthy, and could believe your relationship problems are all your fault.

This is typical of the narcissist, who gaslights you into assuming all the blame as they get away scot-free and take no responsibility for anything. Should you find yourself in this painful situation, the relationship pattern might have deeper roots than just this lifetime.

How to fix it: This is another instance where your self-worth could have been at stake in a past life and you have come back to earth to work your way through it. Should this resonate with you, find support to get out of this bad relationship pattern.

You'll want to work on self-love and self-esteem to leave the situation if needed, and at the very least start a new pattern between you.

This is not always possible because it takes two people who are willing to work through difficult interactions like these and make changes that stick. If you are the only one willing to make adjustments, sadly, nothing new can come of it.

If you are on a spiritual path, it's been said that relationships give you the most area for learning. Take stock of your feelings and relationship patterns.

If you feel past life patterns apply to your situation, you can work with a therapist who does past life regression or get a reading for deeper guidance on past life connections. Healthy love is happy, supportive, fun, and fulfilling and that's exactly what you deserve.

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Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours.
She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.