Is He Interested... Or Are You Just His Candy Crush?


He smolders and stares but won't approach. What's a girl to do?

This is a situation every woman has experienced at some point in her dating life. You are chatting with your friends in a club, and notice that a Mr. Darcy is staring at you — obviously, and seemingly with intent. You send your chums off to the powder room, and there you sit alone. Yet he never approaches or pursues. You wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" The next time you find yourself in this scenario, tick through this mental checklist and see what happens.

  1. Create A Sense Of Urgency: The only way to tell if a man has an honest case of approach anxiety is to activate his chase instinct. So pick up your purse and go. Walk to the ladies' room or outside to make a call or walk around the block; just make sure you are moving away from him, not closer. If he is available and interested he will get the message that it's time to make his move. 
  2. Perhaps Your Styles Are Not In Sync: He may be following a PUA dating philosophy, and his hope is that you will make the initial approach. Or maybe he's just a feminine energy kind of guy who prefers to leave the driving to you. Either way, since your chi is incompatible, this situation is a stalemate. Next!  
  3. You Might Just Be His Candy Crush: Remember that many men pass the time by checking out attractive women. He may have a girlfriend or otherwise be unavailable, and you are just a bit of eye candy. Don't read too much into a man's apparent interest, and don't initiate an entanglement that was never meant to be. 
  4. Consider Switching Up The Venue: If attracting looky-loos is a pattern for you, it may be time to rethink where you hang out. It's a lot easier for a nice guy to approach you while you're at a fun run, charity dog walk, or some other group outing that facilitates interaction. Mix up your activities and you may attract a man with a plan.

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This article was originally published at New Direction Dating. Reprinted with permission from the author.