Moving Into the Aquarian Age — Relationships are About Balance

Love, Self

Learning to balance the "opposites" with our significant others is a process of self-knowledge.

At the temple of Delphi, the ancient Greeks proclaimed, “Know thyself and nothing in excess,” two very wise statements that can help us all today. As we move forward into 2012, the key theme is BALANCE—balancing work and play, saving and spending, moving forward or staying put, staying flexible while maintaining stability. Yes, we all have choices to make constantly. We are all in a state of flux, growing and changing as we become more of who we inherently are. We are all in this together, and we have to learn to balance the “opposites” with our significant others.

Having studied astrology for more than 25 years, I am still in awe of how much “universal law” has to teach us. Astrologers have the privilege of seeing a person’s energy and karma through looking at the birth chart. We are trained to recognize and interpret what the person will struggle with the most by looking at the oppositions, squares, north and south nodes, stressful aspects or placements and challenging transits that are currently happening.

Both astrology and psychology speak to the character given to us at birth. As Carl G. Jung said, we are not born tabula rasa (blank slates). We are born with archetypal predispositions. Yet, after about the age of 30, (typically our first “Saturn return”), the choices we make about how we will live out these energies become clearly ours because we will begin to be more conscious of patterns in our relationships. The more clearly we see our psychological and spiritual blueprint best described by our birth chart, the more choices we can make. As we go through our lives experiencing all the events, situations, people, emotional reactions we are surprised by, staying in balance with others is clearly the goal of conscious evolution.

Who of us has not said to ourselves at one time or another, “Why did I react like that?” … “Who inside me said that?” … “Why did that upset me so much?” Situations that confront us daily in our lives will show us our own “Shadow” begging for acceptance. The Shadow, as defined by Carl G. Jung, is everything about us that is unconscious, unexpressed, denied, and repressed. Discovering it, accepting it and even learning to dance with it is not an easy thing to do. It takes work.

Who wants to see everything about themselves—the good and the bad—behind their mask or persona they wear each day? Who wants to look at where we might be manipulative, using sexual appeal to get customers or dates? Who wants to admit to talking too much after a drink or two when it would be wiser to be silent? Who would rather examine themselves, when it’s so much easier to blame others or to instigate a fight to get even for some perceived hurt? Are we really only hanging out with those who can benefit us financially, using people for our own selfish ends, creating groupies around us to validate our authority, etc.? Who wants to look at all of that? It’s too depressing, so instead we see “others” as being that way. We project our Shadow onto others and convince ourselves that we have gotten rid of it. Nope. It’s still there. It will always be there like our “other half” because we are human. By making it conscious, we can truly get to know our whole selves, our balanced selves. Accepting it in ourselves stops the projections and allows us to accept it in others and truly know them as well. If this sounds like a lot of psychology, it is. It is also astrology—the basis for understanding and balancing Seventh House or relationship issues in all areas of our lives.

I have a good friend who is so easy to be around because I can be my total self with him. When I have an outrageous response, an irrational feeling or make a downright stupid remark, he will just say to me, “Well, that’s only one part of you. Don’t beat yourself up.” The kindness, the acceptance and the love that he extends to me daily makes me want to be a better person. This kind of love doesn’t need the other person to be someone other than who they really are, and here is where astrology really comes in handy. Astrology teaches us to see the positive and negative aspects of every single sign. This is energy. These are the archetypes which are the foundation of this world we live in.

Many people will go into denial that they have any negative qualities at all. For example, people with Scorpio energy will display the negative descriptions of that sign: secretive, jealous, controlling or paranoid. These same people will then go into denial that they have any of those negative qualities at all. I have heard double Scorpios (Sun and Moon in Scorpio) say, “Oh, I’m not anything like that.” Then I’m around them for awhile and see that they are jealous if I spend too much time with others, think everyone is out to get something from them and manipulative but they don’t see it. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there. We learn about ourselves over time, and it takes a lifetime, maybe several more than that, to really know ourselves. The question to ask ourselves is do we want to? If we do, our birth chart will help us know who we came here to be, and we are all unique.

Next: Opening our hearts...

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