It's Over! Dealing With The End Of A Relationship

Love, Heartbreak

This is called starting over; the beginning of starting over starts with grieving. This type of grieving can literally be maddening where we feel our emotions are beyond our comprehension to deal with and/or manage. I know when I have been in this situation of loss in my life, my grief has been completely beyond my control where I would be out in public and something small would remind me of my old life and I would start crying immediately. These are the days where one hour feels like one year and we wonder if this pain will ever end. We seem to wonder around aimlessly in our new life with no direction.

At this point we tend to fantasize about the complete greatness of our partner forgetting all of the bad times that led up to the ending of the relationship and we can end up feeling like we will never find someone like that person again and doomed to either be alone or to be with someone who could never compare to the one we lost. We are officially in the land of the lost at this stage.8 Ways Facebook Can Destroy Your Marriage

What I will share with you is this: each tear we cry means we are one step out of our pain, not one step deeper into it. When we are grieving it can feel like the pain is nonproductive and never ending because it just keeps coming and coming. Our stories become redundant and repetitive as we try and adjust to being alone.

So, let me shine light on the idea that when we feel loss we are not just experiencing the sadness of the current loss but rather we are experiencing every loss and rejection we have ever had all at once. This current loss just triggers all old emotions that are of similar content and feeling. All we can do at this point is let it out in all its glory. We need to get down and dirty and cry it out in all its ugliness.

Subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.