The 2 BIG Reasons Your Relationship Was Doomed From The Very Start

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Reasons Your Relationship Is Doomed to Fail

It's true: pay attention to the stats and you'll see that success or failure is a coin-flip.

Humans are complex creatures. We get jealous, angry, and bitter. We struggle to trust others at the best of times and that gets worse the more we feel for that person.

In our youth, a mass of hormones and inexperience means we are more likely to let these feelings run riot. In our older age, we’re less likely to stick it out with relationships that we think are doomed to fail.

Add to this an increase in interconnectivity and the fact that we are now always just a click away from finding someone new or being tempted, you begin to understand just why divorce rates are up and why the stats say that the majority of people will cheat.

I’ve been in a long-term relationship for over 12 years at the time of writing. I have had no desire to leave and I have felt closer to my partner with each passing day. The same can be said for my parents. My mother’s recent passing broke my father in two because he had spent over 35 years with her and didn't know how to live a minute without her.

That’s the way I’ve always thought that things worked.

Recently, my mind changed. I was asked to conduct some research for a project run by My Relationship Center. For this, I researched all kinds of stats relating to relationships and also picked apart some ideas on how to win you ex back, an issue that, quite frankly, baffled me.

After all, there’s probably a reason the relationship ended and you should just move on from there. Except, it seems there are millions of people asking that question. That surprised me, but what surprised me more was the knowledge that most relationships fail and if the stats are to be believed, all of them are doomed to fail.

Here are the 2 reasons why you might have a broken relationship:

1. Most relationships fail.

There is a general consensus that most relationships end because one of the two were unfaithful. There may be some truth in that because according to a study conducted in the 1990s, 7 out of 10 women will cheat and 7.2 out of 10 men will cheat.

You might be surprised to learn that more than half of people would be happy to forgive their partner if they cheated on them, but that still accounts for billions of people that would not.

A lack of trust has also been cited as a major reason for relationships ending, and this is something that the other 50 percent will clearly struggle with. After all, they might be able to forgive their partner once, but they won’t forgive them again and the worry that it will happen again could be the catalyst for a breakdown.

A number of men and women have also said that they would end a relationship if the sex was bad, even though studies suggest that people who have sex just once per week are the happiest.

Financial woes are also one of the main reasons relationship end, as well as family issues. Again, this is alarming when you consider that more than half of us report having financial stress and that many of us just don’t get on with our spouse’s family, or our own.

There are countless other reasons why relationships end. When you look at a graph of days where you are most likely to go through a breakup you’ll notice that there is a peak around Spring Break and summer holidays.

This is most likely down to the cheating issue and seems to be more common in the young. However, there is also a peak on April Fool’s Day, hinting at a few pranks gone wrong and during the winter holidays, which may be the result of more time spent together and a dawning realization that it’s just not going to work out.

2. The odds are against you.

Every year in the US more than 2.5 million people get married and there are around 3 million first dates. If you focus solely on those figures, then it sounds fairly positive. So, let’s make it a little more depressing.

More than 5 out of 100 adults will die, having never married and over 1 million divorces are filed every year. More than 9 out of 10 of us will marry before we hit 50, but half of those first marriages will fail and more than 60 percent of second marriages will fail.

And that’s just marriage. These are the people who have gone through those initial stages of the relationship, the people who have formed a bond and decided to live the rest of their lives together.

If you focus on brand new relationships, the figure is much greater. It begins to decline as the relationship goes on, but it never dips under 40 percent, which means that at worst your relationship is doomed to fail, and at best it’s all down to the flip of a coin.

That’s only if we take the average into account because things get even more depressing if we localize those figures. In the state of California, more than 60 percent of marriages will end in divorce, but that’s got nothing on Belgium, where you have a 70 percent chance of breaking your "til death do us part" vows.

Of course, you can always work on your relationship, but looking at those figures, you have to wonder if your best bet is to just cross your fingers and hope.

P. J. Aitken is a freelance writer and author who has written for several of the internet’s biggest websites. He has written about freelancing in his guide The Online Writer’s Companion and he is also the author of upcoming comedy title An Idiot in Marriage.