Demystifying The Female Libido

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Self, Sex

Are women really as horny as men?

Regardless of what body or identity you have, if you're more of a "responsive" desire person, you might have worried that your interest in sex was abnormally low. Worrying about how much we do or don't want sex is something we've been well-trained to do. Indeed, so many people have asked me how often they're "supposed to want sex," I've started looking for a memorable, funny, stock answer that gently illustrates the absurdity of the question.

So, using the model of responsive desire (more female) versus spontaneous desire (more male), is the issue of "low sexual libido" based on the assumption that female sexuality should be more like a males? Is there something wrong with women? Are they dysfunctional with low sexual libido if they are not walking around spontaneously wanting sex? Do they need a sex therapist or a drug? Or are they simply not male? And why all of this interest in female libido all of a sudden? It's everywhere — and I care deeply about women and their sexuality — but where does this notion come from? Could it be that big pharmaceutical companies which cashed in big time on Viagra see another big marketing opportunity in my sexual desire and the model for that sexual desire is going to now be based on male sexuality? It's possible.

Or could it be that women are more self-aware than they have ever been and want to try on being more "spontaneous" in their sexual expression? Perhaps women are having their own desire to become more "untapped" and try on some different models of sexual desire and response.

You know, lots of men take erectile dysfunction drugs who don't need them. It's a big part of the market. Is it possible that women will want to enhance their sexual response as well? Speaking for myself, I think that this is very possible. In fact, my own experience trying the new female arousal gel Zestra was all about me wanting to see what was possible with my own sexual desire. And I had an incredible party with that little packet! I don't use it all the time, but I have found myself reaching for the packet when I want to be — how shall we call it — more "spontaneous" in my desire!

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I bet that we are going to be hearing more about this as we get closer to the possible release of the new female sex pill. And I am betting the bank that more and more women are going to reaching for female enhancement products, for all of the reasons that men do. I love this new attention around female desire; I think it's important. The more we talk about female sexual desire; the more women will come to understand their own individual curve of desire. And if they want to shake up their desire and arousal curve with female sexual enhancement products or a new vibrator, it's all about making women comfortable so that they can reach for what they want whenever they want it.